I want you to do something for yourself and for all those around you that you care about. I want you to be a little selfish. I know that this is a pretty hard thing for many to do, especially if you are a very giving person, perhaps a parent, or both. But I want you to do this for others as much as you might think that it is all for you.

It is often thought that being self-involved can be a very bad thing, but if you are willing to really look into what this means, you will see that being self-centered can be a very positive thing as well. The problem really lies in simple definitions of what self-focused really means.

The problem begins with definitions that are based on this or that ideas. Beliefs and directives that are based on age old definitions of what is the right thing to do. The problem is that there is nothing that is black and white and people get stuck thinking that even to contemplate the idea of self-interest is bad, and end of story. No more thought is given on the matter because even to contemplate self’ish thought is bad.

What I mean by being a little, or perhaps a lot for some, selfish is to really start to concern yourself with yourself. You need to start paying more attention to what you are focusing your attention on and far less on what others are doing. It is very natural to believe that in order to help others, you must concern yourself with them and physically act on their behalf. But the truth of the matter is that ‘acting on’ others behalf is most often an intrusion. Unless someone directly asks you to do something for them, it is most often the case that the person does not need your help or is better off without your help.

But if you concentrate on yourself and on feeling good about you and your life, you give others the hope and energy that they need. You do this by showing them that it is possible to be happy. You show them that someone can change their own reality for themselves and by themselves. You show those around you in a new way; you show them by example, and this example is so very crucial for so many.

By helping others when they don’t need your help, you deprive them of the opportunity to find a way out for themselves. We are all here to learn and learning things for ourselves allows each one of us to grow and become more confident. The best way to help others is to show them that all is possible and finally just to have good thoughts for them. When you do this, others will be incredibly uplifted by your gift. There is no better way for you to help others more than to show them that what they want to accomplish in their own lives is possible.

You can only do this by being a bit selfish. What I mean is that you need to take the time to look at your own life, your own desires, and your own thoughts. Then you must make the time to control these thoughts and actions so that you yourself are happy first. You must make the time to guide your own boat in the sea of life and find your best place there. Only when you are happy and love yourself can you love and hope happiness for others, otherwise it will be pretending at best and you can’t keep that up for long.

Now I don’t mean that you should not feed your children or care for those under your care. But next time, before you rush of to give your well-meaning advise or a helping hand, ask yourself; Did they ask for my help? If the answer is no then send that person love from your heart and see them succeeding in your mind but don’t interfere in their life. If they see you happy and successful in your own life, and feel the love that you send them then they just might ask for your help anyway. But remember that the best you can do for others is to show them through example that what they wish to accomplish is possible.

Help others by example and you will also be helping yourself. Send others positive loving thoughts and you will uplift them and help them without the weight of intrusive action.