Good relationships are key and a fundamental in everyone’s life. Even if you are completely alone and do not have a relationship with anyone, you actually do have a relationship with others; this relationship is a relationship of no relation. You are choosing in one way or another to separate yourself from everyone else. If you wish to be alone, and this is a choice that you have made and a choice that you like, then you should stick by this choice, hopefully finding personal fulfillment through it. It is also the case that you might like to have others share in your life. Whatever kind of connection that you have or don’t have with others, it is important to realize that relationships help or hinder our personal success, our happiness, and even our health.
Any relationship, or lack there of, begins and ends with how well we understand ourselves. What is meant by this is that in order to have good relationships with anyone or anything you must really be able to understand yourself intimately. Without this personal understanding you will not be able to give of yourself in the proper way and whatever relationship that you have will be very superficial at best.
In order to have more meaningful and stronger relationships ask yourself; who am I? Question your likes and your dislikes. Consider your hobbies and what you like to do. By first discovering who you are, you can discover what you want from others and what you can and are willing to give to them. As conscious beings with free will, it is up to us to choose who we are with and how much of ourselves we are willing to share with those others. This conscious choosing demands a type of responsibility where it becomes your responsibility to discover yourself and your wants and through this knowledge expand your external affiliations.
Many of us, especially as children, tend to develop very organic relationships. We go from one friend or one relation to another in a most natural way, and this tends to be a very good way to go about it when we are young. As we grow though, we take more and more responsibility for our lives and our personal situations. With this growing responsibility, and through prior experience as children, we do make the realization that the relationships that we choose are very important. That some of the relationships that we have had have not been very good and this has usually been the case because we do not make a conscious effort to start relationships for the right reason and with the right people.
It is possible that at this current time you have not made very much conscious choice in the type of relationships that you have. This is okay, many of us tend to create interpersonal relationships in a very fluid way. I do suggest though that starting from this point on you make a more conscious choice as to who you are hanging with and for what reason. You can start to do this right now by asking yourself how the people in these relationships make you feel. You can also ask yourself if you truly like those people that you are around. You can ask yourself if you want more from this relationship, and in what way. Consciously questioning yourself and discovering these facts about yourself can be the beginning of a more rewarding life where the relationships that you have with others bring you more joy and more personal fulfillment.
To begin to truly enjoy yourself and your life you must find fulfillment in it. In order to find this personal fulfillment you must discover yourself. Since relationships are such an important part of our personal fulfillment, it is most important that you discover what you want and what you don’t want and then pursue the relationships that will fulfill you properly. In order to have good relationships you must first understand yourself.