Self Esteem means staying positive about yourself, and having a real good Self Image. Self image is the idea that you have about yourself. When you look into the mirror of your mind’s eye, what do you see?
There are a number of things that can bite at our self esteem as we make our way through planet earth. Sometimes it even feels like the world is actually conspiring to give our self esteem a nice right cross. But we must realize that the way we perceive things has a great deal to do with how we perceive ourselves.
Knowing what you think of yourself, that is what image you have of yourself deep in your mind’s eye, can be a bit tricky. Usually when we introspect and try and catch a glimpse of our inner self, all we see is a mild mannered “just me”. It seems that the only time that we approximate seeing ourselves for what we really are, is when the world starts to throw pies at us.
So what I am trying to say is that we seem to have a really hard time knowing who we are as people until it hits the fan. Therefore next time that you find yourself driving down the road peacefully, and have some yokel do his best to send you to your early grave by driving his pick-up truck up your posterior, sit back, relax and watch the internal show. Certainly you will be perturbed and will most likely be very angry, but once that initial reactionary emotion wears off…What do you hear yourself saying to yourself?
Certainly you should not pay too much attention to your internal reality or you will be the cause of an accident yourself, but lightly observe your emotions and reactions to this bad situation. Emotions are a wonderful source of energy and most importantly they are a great way to reveal hidden personal beliefs.
A positive self image would be telling itself that this kind of stuff happens to everyone. That if you were the cause of some bad driving, then you will do your very best to do better next time so that you won’t endanger anyone in the future. And if you were not at fault in any way that people are not perfect and they are sometimes mad and in a hurry and it’s not up to you to judge or hate this person without first really knowing why they would be driving so erratically in the first place.
A positive self image also allows itself to feel anger or fear or any other thing without self recrimination. It feels what it has to feel freely and then it doesn’t make any judgments but if it does, it makes positive judgments about itself.
So when yo-yo yokel just tried to run you off the road, what did you feel? And what did you feel about what you felt? If you felt anything but a positive feeling about yourself; weather its recrimination about wanting to kill someone, or self hate at the fact that you are always bullied, or at the fact that you are such a terrible driver, and then you need to explore what belief you have about yourself that makes you feel this way. The idea is to not patch up yourself by putting on a fake happy face that will have you going postal in a week. Learn to explore yourself at these critical times, so that you can learn about yourself and the personal beliefs that you hold.
But what do you do when you find a very negative personal belief that you have about yourself? Well the simple answer is that you change it. You change it by realizing that the belief that you now have is wrong and its causing you grief. You change it by replacing it with a positive belief. For example if your belief is that you don’t have the right to get mad because you are a terrible person and a bad driver, then realize that you are not a bad person at all. Truly make the personal realization that you are not a bad person and that driving is a relative thing. Realize that you are always improving yourself and your driving in all ways. Every time that you find yourself having these thoughts of self deprecation, stop yourself and remember that you are a good person. Don’t let your inner rambling go unchecked. As soon as you start to have negative thoughts about yourself, change them. Change bad thoughts through the realization of how good you really are.
It might take a little while at first but if you persist and learn to always examine yourself and you personal beliefs about yourself image, you should be able to change those negative ideas in no time. I have witnessed people make extraordinary changes overnight, this usually happens when the self realization of themselves as being good decent beings is so overwhelming that there is no more room for a negative belief. Aspire to overnight but be content with the idea that slowly but surely you will learn to create and foster a wonderful self image.
Be aware that beliefs on self image tend to travel in packs. You could be working on one belief that you might have uncovered but there might be many others that are related and need be uncovered and changed as well.
Don’t give up, and stay persistent in yourself examination. Self Esteem is created from the inside out and not the other way around as some of the more popular self help books would have you believe. Stay with it and you will be very glad that you did. If there is one thing that is most important in life its self esteem!