How to Avoid Conflict in a Relationship
Relationships can be quite trying sometimes. Sharing a life with the love of your life requires a lot of growth and compromise by both partners. While there are many things that you will probably agree on, there are also many things that you will require some kind of compromise from both you. There is a fine balance between compromise and tolerate which must be carefully examined. A relationship, or any partnership for that matter, requires honesty and good communication.
In order to lessen conflict;
* Learn to appreciate your partners style and attitude about certain things. We are all different after all and the reasons why you might have been attracted to this person in the first place could be the fact that he or she is so different from you. By appreciating the uniqueness of the person that you are with, you give that person the freedom to be him/her-self.
* As I said there is a difference between tolerance and compromise. Learning to compromise is the only way that you will be able to create a relationship where both parties feel comfortable and happy. The difference between tolerance and compromise is that with compromise you are both making certain changes on an ‘equal basis’ in order to create a better situation. Tolerance means that you are putting up with something, there is no effort being made by you or your partner to meet somewhere in the middle. Having to change for someone is not a compromise; a compromise involves a willingness from both parties to make equal concessions in order to benefit both equally.
* Try to become more of a self-starter. Quite often there’s one person in the relationship that tends to do all the moving and shaking while the other person needs to be prodded in order to get anything done. Sometimes one Partner is good in one area while the other partners good in another. Learn to recognize where you are being rather slow to act and make sure that in the future you take action in this area so that your partner does not need to get on your case.
* A conflict, a disagreement, is always inevitable. You are different people after all and there will always come a time when you will not agree on certain things. If you accept the fact that you are both individuals and that these conflicts will arise over time, then when they do happen you won’t feel so discouraged or feel that you are doing something wrong. Conflict just means that you are both in disagreement over a certain issue and that you need to clarify how you will both proceed.
* If your partner has some kind of complaint, always try to clarify this complaint by asking him or her to tell you how this complaint concerns you? This is not a harsh question and it should not be posed as such; what you are trying to do is to find out if the complaint has anything to do with you so that you can identify an area where you might need to compromise with your partner.
* If your partner is being critical of you, try not to let it affect your self-esteem. If you can, try not to become emotional, try to objectively see if your partner has a point. Staying unemotional can be a very difficult thing, especially when the other person is being very emotional, but you should try to develop a detached attitude so that you are able to clearly perceive what the other person might be trying to say. In this way you can identify what the relationship needs in order to overcome this conflict. It will also help you to discover where your partners thinking might not be accurate.
* When you identify something that your partner is not correct on, try not to goad the other person or to argue with them in one way or another. Do not complain, try to make a request instead. By making a request you avoid any kind of aggressive banter that can develop from the heated discussion.
A healthy relationship is based on mutual decision-making. Remember the line between compromise and tolerance, and make sure that you are always compromising. Never try and tolerate anything or else your frustrations will grow and eventually you will explode. You will know in your heart when a compromise has been reached because you will feel at ease with this situation and you will once again be able to express love for your partner without tension. Practice communicating with your partner on a regular basis, even on difficult issues, so that you know that you are both feeling positive about all of the issues that affect you. Any time that one partner is tolerating, where good communication has broken down, there will sooner or later be some kind of explosive conflict.