Humor is one of the greatest things that you can use when you’re trying to get a date. It is a communication strength that you need to master in order to get the opposite sex interested in you. If you can get the person that you are interested in to laugh, you can get that person to date you.
Building rapport, establishing a one-on-one connection, with another person is incredibly easy with humor. Humor is an incredible bonding mechanism that allows people to ‘get real’. The act of laughing and smiling means that the other person is relaxed enough that they have gone out of the ‘fight or flight’ response that we usually go through when we first meet someone. If that person is smiling and laughing then they are relaxed and that relaxation means that they have accepted you as a friend. You can find out many things about a person through the jokes they tell; you can share your philosophies, your prejudice, and your intelligence, because the ability to tell a good joke requires a sharp mind.
There is no better way to start a conversation with someone than to start out with a joke. The sooner that you can get a person to laugh, the sooner that you get an approval from that person and as I said above they will instantly relax and trust you. There is great anxiety in approaching a person you have never met before but this anxiety can be easily overcome if you look at this situation as an opportunity to share good joke with someone instead of a live or die situation where you have to get the date.
Whenever possible, try to use personal experience rather than a story type joke. Whenever possible try to make a joke that is unique and that relates to you or the situation personally. If a person has heard a joke before they will not be interested in hearing it again so it is always a good idea to try and be unique. When you tell a joke try something like, “the other day at the supermarket I…” Instead of, “three guys walk into a bar…” The difference is that one is about you personally and hopefully relates to what’s going on right now while the other is just something you got off a book.
If you’re having trouble coming up with good jokes, I recommend that you read the article: “How to Create a Stand Up Comedy Routine”
Never make a joke at another person’s expense. It is quite possible that the person you’re talking to might know who you are talking about. If this is the case then the joke will most likely be changed somehow in this joke will come back to hurt you in one way or another.
Whenever possible to just use yourself as the victim of the joke. Making fun of yourself actually shows that you are human and are down to earth and can laugh at yourself. Contrary to the ‘I have to put the person down to have them like me’ theory (colloquially called the neg.), only make jokes about the person that you are trying to date if they are lighthearted and cute. The power of humor is that it makes you feel good about yourself. If you offend the other person by saying something silly and nasty about them or about someone that they know, you can forget about ever becoming their friend or dating them because they will instantly dislike you.
Never use ethnic humor or ethnic jokes unless you’re the ethnic. Think of your jokes as a way to open up to the person that you are trying to meet without making them uncomfortable in the process. Essentially your humor then becomes a way of having the other person open up to you as you open up to them; looked at in this way you are going for honesty and happiness.
Create a list of jokes for yourself. You can do this by writing down good ideas that you have as they come to you or you can write down good jokes that you hear and then try to adapt to them to suit your needs. In this way you will create a nice little file for yourself that you can borrow from whenever your brain gets too nervous to come up with anything on the fly. As I said, never tell a joke straight from a book but try to adapt the punch-line of a joke to suit a certain situation that you might encounter on a regular basis.
When it comes to humor, timing is everything. During a conversation, try to see if you can develop a sense of when to insert a good joke. A good joke told just at the right time can create truly hilarious moment the will greatly impressed the person you’re with and turn them into your instant friend. There is never a good time for politics or religion in any situation when you are talking to someone you have never met before. Keep your jokes simple and happy.
As you begin to build a repertoire of jokes for yourself, you will find it much easier to insert funny situations into everyday affairs. Your mind will naturally find good timing and plenty of material for a lighthearted moment that can create an instant connection with someone that you are interested in. A friend of mine once told me that the biggest reason why he was so scared of going up to a girl in a bar was that he thought that he would be kicked between the legs if the girl dislike him. I MADE HIM buy a sports cup and wear it the next time that we went to a bar. He had the most hilarious time talking to all sorts of girls and the whole night was based on him telling the joke about the sports cup and tapping out tunes on it using a half-empty beer bottle.
Humor is the greatest reframe; focus on trying to make the other person happy and you will forget about your anxieties in trying to pick them up.