Rules of the Successful Dater
Dating can be a difficult game to play. You are sticking your neck out there in the hopes of making a meaningful connection or perhaps in the hopes of connecting with someone sexually. This is very natural, we all need companionship.
Unfortunately dating can sometimes feel like you are going to war. And most of the help material out there will have you believe that all men and women are selfish, emotional creatures that are out there to satisfy some crazy natural selection process. It all has a way of reducing dating to “The Origin Of Species”…
But dating doesn’t have to be so cold blooded or so ruthless. Life is more than some Darwinian nightmare and the sooner that you realize that, the sooner that your dating life will improve beyond your wildest dreams.
Every guy/girl that you meet out there is a complex person with a heart and soul that is screaming out for love and happiness. Sometimes things seem difficult in the dating world because it’s hard to figure out what an individual wants and what he/she is after. The first thing that you need to do in order to make things easier on yourself is to understand that everybody is different and you owe it to any person that you want to meet to find out what she/he is all about.
You are bound to meet nice people, mean ones, difficult ones, happy ones, nasty ones, and just about any combinations that you can think of. It’s up to you to not let first impressions defeat you and to make every effort possible to try and get to know the inner person that stands before you. If you can do that then you will be a very successful dater.
Here are some things that will make it easier for you to meet anyone and if implemented, will allow you to get along with any woman/man; whether this is simply friendship, a casual relation, or to develop a long relationship with:
• Don’t Argue. This doesn’t mean become a ‘wuse’ and agree to anything that she/he says, because people like to be challenged. But you should be nice and agreeable and be willing to see the other point of view. Call them on their bull but respect them enough to make the effort to see things how she/he sees them.
• Don’t offend. Some would have you believe that in order to hook up with a girl or guy you have to be a jackass; this is terrible advice. A superior person treats others as their equals and with respect. It’s the person with the self esteem problems that has to offend everybody.
• Don’t act defeated. First impressions can be hard sometimes and the average girl will usually act quite mean when you first approach her. But think about it from her perspective; some strange guy is coming up to her out of the blue.
The world can be a scary place and if she is a pretty, or beautiful, girl then it’s most likely that she has been approached by hundreds of men in her lifetime. She is just trying to protect herself. But don’t let this first impression to you defeat you, make the effort to move past this and find out about this person.
• Try to make a friend at all costs. If you go in there with this attitude then you can’t fail. Even if you are totally rejected, it won’t seem so bad because you were acting from a giving heartfelt place.
• Try to see things from her/his point of view. The sooner you can do this, the sooner that you start to make real meaningful connection with that person. Everything after that is gravy.
Dating is not a struggle or a draconian competition for survival. Dating is about opening yourself up to friendship. It’s about giving of yourself first so that you can find companionship and personal satisfaction. In dating just like anything else in life; the more you give, the more that you will get.