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Category Archives: Dating Help

How to Call Someone for a Date Part 1

The first time that you call a person for a date can be incredibly scary. Even the follow-up to a second date can often be quite difficult. The only way to get over this fear is to be well prepared so with that in mind here are some points that you should keep in mind.

Always remember to be very well prepared:
before you make the call make sure that you know why you are calling; you want a date with them why? Where? At what time?
Create this small script so that you know what you will say when you have the other person on the phone. This might sound a little fake but it’s incredibly easy to start stuttering or to go completely blank when you get nervous so it is always a good idea to have a script of what you are going to say and even to practice it a few times before you make the call.
Make sure that you have all the information that you need. If you’re planning to take a person on a date to a particular place, make sure that you know where the place is, and any information that the other person might be interested in.

Don’t apologize for anything, don’t make excuses:
When you have the other person on the line and your talking to them, be confident and don’t apologize for bothering them or calling at a wrong time. Get straight to why you are calling and don’t linger on the line once you have your answer.

How you deliver your first line determines how successful your date call will be:
The opening lines are very important so they should be smooth and sincere. Being funny and lighthearted is good, being overconfident and sounding like a jerk/snob is bad. The best way to start a conversation on the phone is to ask if you are talking to the person that you called for and then to let them know who you are and perhaps where you met. Before you make the call take a few deep breaths and put a smile on your face; studies have shown that people can actually tell when someone speaking to them with a smile and it can positively affect the conversation.

Listen to that part of your mind that is scared:
Some people will try to tell you that you should try and ignore your fear and try to overcome it but this is actually quite counterproductive. Fear is always a friend that is telling you that you need to be more prepared or more cautious about what you are about to do. Practice your script and review what it is that you want to do with the person that you want a date with. Use that fearful energy to become more prepared and to try to come up with the best way possible to get that person to go out with you.
If you are still scared but you have done everything they can think of to prepare for your call, then be satisfied with the fact that you’ve done your best and now it’s up to the other person. Relax.

Not everyone that you call for a date will say yes:
You must be prepared for the fact that you might face rejection. Allow for the possibility that the other person might say no to you and you will find it much easier to make a difficult call. It can be a really hard thing for the ego to think that it is being rejected but dating is always a numbers game. Sometimes people aren’t prepared to go with you even though they really like you and there are times when chemistry is just a little bit off and that’s all that it takes. Appreciate the other person’s decision and be happy and honest about whatever rejection you might face; rejoice in the fact that you’re in the game having fun with people, living your life to the fullest and not hiding behind your fears.

Learn from those people that tell you no:
As I said there are times when things just aren’t right and it’s not really your fault that other people do not want to go out on a date with you. There are also times when things are just not quite right either in your delivery or how you went about meeting that other person in the first place. Whenever you can, find out honestly why the other person doesn’t want to date you and learn from this so that next time you will be able to do things just a little better and get the date with that very sexy person that you want to go out with.

Calling a person for a date can be a very difficult thing especially when it is the first time you call them. You’re putting yourself out there and rejection is possible. The best way to get over this fear is to be prepared and to think of calls like this as being a kind of game that you are playing with the other person. One more step that you take in a dance to see if you will get together and become something special.
Fear is telling you that you should be prepared but it is not telling you that you should not call. Take a chance and live a little, and if the other person says no then learn something from it and move on. Dating can be a fun ride but you first have to get on.

If You Can Get Them to Laugh, You Can Get a Date With Anyone!

Humor is one of the greatest things that you can use when you’re trying to get a date. It is a communication strength that you need to master in order to get the opposite sex interested in you. If you can get the person that you are interested in to laugh, you can get that person to date you.

Building rapport, establishing a one-on-one connection, with another person is incredibly easy with humor. Humor is an incredible bonding mechanism that allows people to ‘get real’. The act of laughing and smiling means that the other person is relaxed enough that they have gone out of the ‘fight or flight’ response that we usually go through when we first meet someone. If that person is smiling and laughing then they are relaxed and that relaxation means that they have accepted you as a friend. You can find out many things about a person through the jokes they tell; you can share your philosophies, your prejudice, and your intelligence, because the ability to tell a good joke requires a sharp mind.

There is no better way to start a conversation with someone than to start out with a joke. The sooner that you can get a person to laugh, the sooner that you get an approval from that person and as I said above they will instantly relax and trust you. There is great anxiety in approaching a person you have never met before but this anxiety can be easily overcome if you look at this situation as an opportunity to share good joke with someone instead of a live or die situation where you have to get the date.

Whenever possible, try to use personal experience rather than a story type joke. Whenever possible try to make a joke that is unique and that relates to you or the situation personally. If a person has heard a joke before they will not be interested in hearing it again so it is always a good idea to try and be unique. When you tell a joke try something like, “the other day at the supermarket I…” Instead of, “three guys walk into a bar…” The difference is that one is about you personally and hopefully relates to what’s going on right now while the other is just something you got off a book.
If you’re having trouble coming up with good jokes, I recommend that you read the article: “How to Create a Stand Up Comedy Routine

Never make a joke at another person’s expense. It is quite possible that the person you’re talking to might know who you are talking about. If this is the case then the joke will most likely be changed somehow in this joke will come back to hurt you in one way or another.

Whenever possible to just use yourself as the victim of the joke. Making fun of yourself actually shows that you are human and are down to earth and can laugh at yourself. Contrary to the ‘I have to put the person down to have them like me’ theory (colloquially called the neg.), only make jokes about the person that you are trying to date if they are lighthearted and cute. The power of humor is that it makes you feel good about yourself. If you offend the other person by saying something silly and nasty about them or about someone that they know, you can forget about ever becoming their friend or dating them because they will instantly dislike you.

Never use ethnic humor or ethnic jokes unless you’re the ethnic. Think of your jokes as a way to open up to the person that you are trying to meet without making them uncomfortable in the process. Essentially your humor then becomes a way of having the other person open up to you as you open up to them; looked at in this way you are going for honesty and happiness.

Create a list of jokes for yourself. You can do this by writing down good ideas that you have as they come to you or you can write down good jokes that you hear and then try to adapt to them to suit your needs. In this way you will create a nice little file for yourself that you can borrow from whenever your brain gets too nervous to come up with anything on the fly. As I said, never tell a joke straight from a book but try to adapt the punch-line of a joke to suit a certain situation that you might encounter on a regular basis.

When it comes to humor, timing is everything. During a conversation, try to see if you can develop a sense of when to insert a good joke. A good joke told just at the right time can create truly hilarious moment the will greatly impressed the person you’re with and turn them into your instant friend. There is never a good time for politics or religion in any situation when you are talking to someone you have never met before. Keep your jokes simple and happy.

As you begin to build a repertoire of jokes for yourself, you will find it much easier to insert funny situations into everyday affairs. Your mind will naturally find good timing and plenty of material for a lighthearted moment that can create an instant connection with someone that you are interested in. A friend of mine once told me that the biggest reason why he was so scared of going up to a girl in a bar was that he thought that he would be kicked between the legs if the girl dislike him. I MADE HIM buy a sports cup and wear it the next time that we went to a bar. He had the most hilarious time talking to all sorts of girls and the whole night was based on him telling the joke about the sports cup and tapping out tunes on it using a half-empty beer bottle.
Humor is the greatest reframe; focus on trying to make the other person happy and you will forget about your anxieties in trying to pick them up.

How to Avoid Conflict in a Relationship

Relationships can be quite trying sometimes. Sharing a life with the love of your life requires a lot of growth and compromise by both partners. While there are many things that you will probably agree on, there are also many things that you will require some kind of compromise from both you. There is a fine balance between compromise and tolerate which must be carefully examined. A relationship, or any partnership for that matter, requires honesty and good communication.

In order to lessen conflict;

* Learn to appreciate your partners style and attitude about certain things. We are all different after all and the reasons why you might have been attracted to this person in the first place could be the fact that he or she is so different from you. By appreciating the uniqueness of the person that you are with, you give that person the freedom to be him/her-self.

As I said there is a difference between tolerance and compromise. Learning to compromise is the only way that you will be able to create a relationship where both parties feel comfortable and happy. The difference between tolerance and compromise is that with compromise you are both making certain changes on an ‘equal basis’ in order to create a better situation. Tolerance means that you are putting up with something, there is no effort being made by you or your partner to meet somewhere in the middle. Having to change for someone is not a compromise; a compromise involves a willingness from both parties to make equal concessions in order to benefit both equally.

* Try to become more of a self-starter. Quite often there’s one person in the relationship that tends to do all the moving and shaking while the other person needs to be prodded in order to get anything done. Sometimes one Partner is good in one area while the other partners good in another. Learn to recognize where you are being rather slow to act and make sure that in the future you take action in this area so that your partner does not need to get on your case.

A conflict, a disagreement, is always inevitable. You are different people after all and there will always come a time when you will not agree on certain things. If you accept the fact that you are both individuals and that these conflicts will arise over time, then when they do happen you won’t feel so discouraged or feel that you are doing something wrong. Conflict just means that you are both in disagreement over a certain issue and that you need to clarify how you will both proceed.

* If your partner has some kind of complaint, always try to clarify this complaint by asking him or her to tell you how this complaint concerns you? This is not a harsh question and it should not be posed as such; what you are trying to do is to find out if the complaint has anything to do with you so that you can identify an area where you might need to compromise with your partner.

* If your partner is being critical of you, try not to let it affect your self-esteem. If you can, try not to become emotional, try to objectively see if your partner has a point. Staying unemotional can be a very difficult thing, especially when the other person is being very emotional, but you should try to develop a detached attitude so that you are able to clearly perceive what the other person might be trying to say. In this way you can identify what the relationship needs in order to overcome this conflict. It will also help you to discover where your partners thinking might not be accurate.

* When you identify something that your partner is not correct on, try not to goad the other person or to argue with them in one way or another. Do not complain, try to make a request instead. By making a request you avoid any kind of aggressive banter that can develop from the heated discussion.

A healthy relationship is based on mutual decision-making. Remember the line between compromise and tolerance, and make sure that you are always compromising. Never try and tolerate anything or else your frustrations will grow and eventually you will explode. You will know in your heart when a compromise has been reached because you will feel at ease with this situation and you will once again be able to express love for your partner without tension. Practice communicating with your partner on a regular basis, even on difficult issues, so that you know that you are both feeling positive about all of the issues that affect you. Any time that one partner is tolerating, where good communication has broken down, there will sooner or later be some kind of explosive conflict.






Good Relationships Start By Knowing Yourself

Good relationships are key and a fundamental in everyone’s life. Even if you are completely alone and do not have a relationship with anyone, you actually do have a relationship with others; this relationship is a relationship of no relation. You are choosing in one way or another to separate yourself from everyone else. If you wish to be alone, and this is a choice that you have made and a choice that you like, then you should stick by this choice, hopefully finding personal fulfillment through it. It is also the case that you might like to have others share in your life. Whatever kind of connection that you have or don’t have with others, it is important to realize that relationships help or hinder our personal success, our happiness, and even our health.

Any relationship, or lack there of, begins and ends with how well we understand ourselves. What is meant by this is that in order to have good relationships with anyone or anything you must really be able to understand yourself intimately. Without this personal understanding you will not be able to give of yourself in the proper way and whatever relationship that you have will be very superficial at best.

In order to have more meaningful and stronger relationships ask yourself; who am I? Question your likes and your dislikes. Consider your hobbies and what you like to do. By first discovering who you are, you can discover what you want from others and what you can and are willing to give to them. As conscious beings with free will, it is up to us to choose who we are with and how much of ourselves we are willing to share with those others. This conscious choosing demands a type of responsibility where it becomes your responsibility to discover yourself and your wants and through this knowledge expand your external affiliations.

Many of us, especially as children, tend to develop very organic relationships. We go from one friend or one relation to another in a most natural way, and this tends to be a very good way to go about it when we are young. As we grow though, we take more and more responsibility for our lives and our personal situations. With this growing responsibility, and through prior experience as children, we do make the realization that the relationships that we choose are very important. That some of the relationships that we have had have not been very good and this has usually been the case because we do not make a conscious effort to start relationships for the right reason and with the right people.

It is possible that at this current time you have not made very much conscious choice in the type of relationships that you have. This is okay, many of us tend to create interpersonal relationships in a very fluid way. I do suggest though that starting from this point on you make a more conscious choice as to who you are hanging with and for what reason. You can start to do this right now by asking yourself how the people in these relationships make you feel. You can also ask yourself if you truly like those people that you are around. You can ask yourself if you want more from this relationship, and in what way. Consciously questioning yourself and discovering these facts about yourself can be the beginning of a more rewarding life where the relationships that you have with others bring you more joy and more personal fulfillment.

To begin to truly enjoy yourself and your life you must find fulfillment in it. In order to find this personal fulfillment you must discover yourself. Since relationships are such an important part of our personal fulfillment, it is most important that you discover what you want and what you don’t want and then pursue the relationships that will fulfill you properly. In order to have good relationships you must first understand yourself.






Great Relationships Start With Rapport

Relationships are a very important thing. They are the foundation of most of our lives and they bring us joy and can even bring us success. As a dater relationships are the main focus of all your efforts; as a dater what you are basically trying to do is to try to build a very good relationship with someone else. This relationship has certain conditions and these conditions must be desired by both parties.

In order to build a good relationship with another, you need to be able to learn how to create rapport with that person. Rapport is the ability to tune into the other person and in many ways become one with that person. Rapport is really a type of empathy in that it allows you to share internally; this permits you to begin to truly understand the other person and to see life from their perspective. There is no stronger technique that you can develop to become a great dater.

  • One of the best ways to begin to develop rapport with another person is to just try to imaginatively put yourself in their shoes. By doing this you begin to naturally allow a part of yourself to become deeply in tune with the other person and you can, imaginatively at first, begin to see the world the way that they do.
  • Another good way to develop rapport is to try and match the other person’s body language. This technique is usually called mirroring in NLP, and it works just like you would think it would. You are essentially trying to mirror the other person and to position your body physically in a way that matches theirs. The trick though is never to mirror a person perfectly or else they will immediately notice what you are doing. Mirroring is a subtle act and the experts would tell you that it’s is preferable to mirror things that are unconscious to the other person, like breathing for example.
  • Rapport can also be developed by asking the correct questions. By asking a person about themselves and about what they believe, you naturally begin to tune into them and therefore build rapport. You could for example ask a person about their personal tastes; whether it is movies, food, or books. You can begin to build instant rapport by getting to know that person better. You can also ask that person about what they like to do for fun and in this way discover about their past and about their personal desires. Another great question to ask is about the person’s family and friends; asking them about their siblings, what their friends are like, or even if they have any pets.
  • Finally the greatest way to build rapport is just to be able to listen to the other person. The more attention that you pay to that other person the more that you will be able to tune into that person and develop rapport with them. By truly paying attention and trying to listen to what the other person says, you will naturally begin to match their physiology and will ask them the right questions because you are truly interested. The best way to build rapport is to make the other person feel important by truly focusing on that person when you are engaging with them.

Rapport is just a fancy new term that gets thrown about a lot now a days. Rapport is really empathy and your ability to empathize with another. Empathy is first and foremost created imaginatively by having you try to see the world from the other person’s perspective. This empathy is fundamentally increased through your desire to TRULY want to get to know the other person. If you can become a master of rapport, or as I like to call it empathy, you will develop incredibly strong relationships that will make you very happy.






The 2 Types Of Voice Tones To Use When Meeting Others

As a dater you need to pay attention to your voice. You need to realize that it has a great impact on the person that you are communicating with. The voice can let another person know how confident you are or what you are feeling at the moment. The voice has many subtleties and they all have different meanings that are picked up by others whenever we communicate.

There is no need though to become too intricate and this understanding. What you need to understand is that there are at least two different inflections that you need to be aware of. And either one of these inflections needs to be used a certain time in order to achieve a certain goal.

1. The first inflection that you need to worry about is the kind of tone and the kind of voice that you use when you are first meeting people. This tone should be light with a lot of energy and a rather high tonality. The reason for this is that when you first meet people you want to engage them with a lot of personal energy. It is a good rule of thumb to always be slightly more ‘pumped’ than the people that you are getting to know.

When you first get to know people you need to provide the energy that will sustain the relationship. This is especially true if you are walking up to people you don’t know, or an individual that you don’t know, because those people are most likely reticent to meet you. Since meeting a person out of the blue is sort of like making a cold call, you must engage this person with the idea that you must bring forth the energy that will be required to make this initial union a success.

Whenever you introduce yourself to an individual or a group of individuals therefore you must have a high voice that is full of energy. Continue using this voice until you become well acquainted with the people and you break the ice with them as it were. You will want to have this voice with you at all times so that you continue pumping more and more energy into the group or into whatever individual you are talking to.

2. This second kind of voice that you need to be aware of is the voice that you will use when you’re trying to become more intimate with someone. For example it could be the case that he used your initial voice to get to know a group, and using this voice, along with some interesting banter, you broke the ice. It is possible to that you were able to successfully find some ‘one on one’ time with a person from that group that you found very interesting. It is at this point that you will want to use a different kind of voice to try to instigate a more intimate connection.

The second type voice intonation that you need to be aware of is one that will allow you to create a more intimate and sensual connection. This kind of voice needs to be lower and slower. Now you don’t want to overdo it here by trying to do your best Berry White impression. You are though trying to create a certain mood and this mood is instigated by a slow and very comforting voice.

It is a good idea to try to use a low tone so that he or she is the only person that can hear what you are saying. This makes your conversation more intimate and this naturally creates a type of bond. Make this transition a natural one where the person you are talking to does not notice what you are doing. Slow down the pace of your words and if it is possible try to use dramatic stops in your concersations in order to create slight tension.

It is important that you work on the second of voice and practice it because during an intimate situation the other person will be very interested in not just what you are saying but also in the tonality, the rhythm, and pitch of your voice. It is of course a good idea to practice both types of tones so that you are able to flow from one to the other in a natural fashion. Do though try to stay natural so that these two types of voices that you use sound real and not faked. It is also good to stay natural because sometimes you tend to become very nervous when you’re trying to pull off something that is not natural for you. Use the two types of tonality in order to expand your dating success.







Question To Get Your Look Just Right

In an earlier article I discussed the importance of external appearance. I said that from a spiritual perspective, external appearance is also important because external appearances is created from internal beliefs. As such, your external appearance is really an indicator of what you believe about yourself. That you are a natural internal sculptor of your external appearance.

If you have read that article and you did get a chance to work on your beliefs systems, this article will show you some further questions that you can ask yourself to further improve how you feel about yourself and in that way to take both internal and external actions to look good both on the inside and the outside.

When you get a chance, and you have some time to be by yourself, see if you can find a large mirror. Get your wardrobe and try on every outfit that you have. As you are trying on these different outfits, ask yourself the following questions:

What do I think the person that I seem that mirror?

Is what I see externally a good representation of how I feel internally?

Is  this outfit and this external appearance representative of what I am personally or what I am at work?

Is what I see representative of what I want others to see?

How confident does this outfit make me feel? Score yourself from 1 to 10.

If I saw a person like the person I see in that reflection walking down the street, what would I think about that person?

If I were given the chance, what comments would I make him/her; what advice would I give to the person that I see?

With these questions you should be able to make a deeper exploration into the way that you feel about your external appearance. These questions are also very good at showing you and giving you clues about possible action that you can start taking in order to fix your wardrobe and your external appearance. For the last few questions try to see yourself in a detached manor. In this way you will be able to discover new perspectives about the way you look, commenting on yourself as if you are a stranger that you saw walking down the street. Be honest and be brave, and with these questions you will be able to create the perfect look that showcases your internal and external beauty simultaneously.





The Importance of Internal And External Beauty

Many like to believe that looks are not important. That a good person is involved with more than just physical appearance. That judgment should not be based on external appearance but should actually be based on performance and what the person is like inside.

You must realize though that external appearance is important because there are many that will judge you on what you look like. Unless you live alone in the middle of nowhere, it is impossible for you to go a day without having someone else judge you by how you look. External appearance is very important it tells others many things about who we are personally, how fit and strong you are, and how confident you feel about yourself.

While it might seem that this is not the right thing to say if you’re looking at things from a spiritual perspective, the reality is that external appearance is very much a spiritual thing. The problem in perception really lies in the fact that many believe that external beauty is all external. They believe that beauty comes from without, either through makeup, good genes, wardrobe, or even medical surgery. Spiritual perspective though takes it for granted that beauty comes from within and that even though some of us are born naturally better looking than others, true beauty can only manifest itself from the inside out. What is meant by this is that in order to look good on the outside you must feel good on the inside.

Seen in this way, beauty is in external manifestation of an internal beliefs. The body is seen as a sculpture created by the spirit and not as a separate husk that exist separately from it. Essentially you create the body and the external appearance that you see. You are like a fine sculptor that is in charge of one incredibly beautiful sculpture which is you. You do this sculpting through your beliefs and how you feel about yourself. Two identical twins can seem completely different if one of them holds the belief that he or she is beautiful while the other one holds the belief that he or she is quite ugly.

In order to change your appearance then, you must begin to explore how your beliefs about yourself shape the way you see yourself, and as a result how others see you. A good way to do this is to stand in front of a mirror and honestly ask yourself what you think of the person that is looking back at you. Explore your thoughts and feelings and discover what you believe about yourself by asking yourself why you are feeling what you are feeling.

If you have low self-worth and believe that you have a gigantic nose, ask yourself why you believe this. It seems almost ludicrous to question something that you believe to be fact, that your nose is indeed large and aside from surgery there’s nothing that you can do about it. You might discover though that your feelings of ugliness really stem from some core belief that you have about yourself. If for one second you are able to view yourself through a different light, it is quite possible that you will see that your nose is not so large or that the way that you perceive your nose has everything to do with how others are treating you.

Most of the time people see in us what we want them to see through our personal projections, which they pickup telepathically or through body language. By changing your beliefs and therefore the way you act and the way that you feel, you can greatly alter the way that you look. A change in belief will also get you to try harder to become more fashionable and better dressed. These efforts can greatly alter the way you look.

It is also possible that by changing the way you feel you will alter physiological things that you consider a detriment to your looks. For example many skin conditions can be said to have some kind of psychosomatic aspects. What this means is that your mind is causing these symptoms to one degree or another. By changing how you feel about yourself, and essentially fundamentally changing the beliefs that you have about your looks, you can clear up many of these conditions.

Never underestimate the power of your in internal being. Beauty is an internal matter and it is projected from the inside out. When you get a chance, stand in front of the mirror and explore your feelings. Discover these beliefs and realize that you can change these if they are detrimental to you. If you want to know how to go about changing these beliefs I suggest you read the article” How to stop negative energy permanently“, there I show you 3 very good ways to change belief.

How To Flirt

It is really important, whether you are a man or woman, that you learn how to flirt. The reason for this is that flirting is the best way to break the ice in order to get to know people that you are in interested in. Flirting is as natural as a bird showing its feathers or as a horny frog singing a midnight Serenade.

Flirting can really be said to be in art. There’s great subtlety and delicacy in how you approach this art and there is definitely a learning curve that can only be surpassed with in the field experience. The great thing about flirting though is that it allows people to interact without the problem of facing rejection directly. You can essentially flirt with people all day long without committing yourself in any way to a cold face to face confrontation. This makes flirting the best way to instigate sensual relations with someone that you are interested.

Here are some tips to get you going in the art of flirting. As I have said flirting does require practice but it’s fun practice that you can do anywhere for your amusement and for the amusement of those around you. Flirting is really having fun, enjoying life, and doing a little coy showing off.

How to flirt 101:

Look approachable; the first step in being a good flirt is showing the people around you that you are relaxed and confident. We are all in a constant state of tense awareness, essentially in the state of fight or flight. Learn to relax this feeling by relaxing your entire being. A little Mona Lisa smile is also a wonderful little add-on.

Learn to read people; in order to become a great flirt you must become more empathic. As a flirt it is a great virtue to be able to read other people and to know what they are thinking so that you know when to push and when to back away. Try to learn a little about body language and also practice the ability to imaginatively put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

Look but don’t stare; a good rule of thumb is to look at the other person for 2 seconds and then look away. You never want to stare at anyone because this will scare them away, even people that might actually be interested in you will be repulsed by stare because a stare from a stranger, even a good-looking one, can have aggressive overtones. Empathy is your best friend here and while there are some rules the to apply, these rules are not set in stone and it is better that you become empathic rather than robotic following some standard routine.

Smile; now this is a tricky thing because you do not want to smile too much or too broadly. The smile is part of that art of flirting that I was talking about. The half-smile is a wonderful thing because it keeps others guessing, you seem happy and coy but, there is always that little ‘but’. When you do approach someone, remember to smile. If the other person seems to be interested in your flirting, and you are confident enough to be able to and try to engage them in conversation, make sure that you to have a broad and happy smile at that time.

Share of yourself; now it is possible that you might want to flirt and leave it at that. Some people just like to flirt and that is all that they are really after. If you do want to meet people though there will be a time when you will have to go up and talk to them or they will come up and talk to you. If this happens, remember to be open and to share of yourself in a natural and confident manner. Open up to the other person in the nice gracious way and try to mirror their body language.

Try to touch the other person; once you are talking to the person that you were initially flirting with, one of the best ways to get the conversation moving in the right direction is to try and casually touch the other person. Try to do this in an offhand manner that does not seem aggressive in any way. In this way you can discover how interested the other person is in you and you can get things really heated as well. If the person pulls back from your touch then you will know that they are not that interested in you or that you are just moving a little too fast. If this is the case then to not react negatively in any way, just move your hand away and once again casually start talking about something that you are both interested in. You can try to touch the other person a little later and see if they are more receptive to your touch then.

Ask them out; if your flirting went well, you are having a great conversation, and there is a little friendly touching going on, make sure that you do not waste the opportunity. If you’re this far then the other person is interested in you for sure. Make sure to seize the moment and ask them out on the date. Let them know that you find them incredibly interesting and that you would like to continue the conversation in the future.

Flirting is the human way of showing your feathers off. You do not need to put yourself in a difficult social situation in order to flirt, you can flirt anytime and anywhere. If you become good at reading people then you will know instantly how good it is going. Someone who is good at flirting can get find a date at an insurance convention.

Top 7 Things Guys Judge Girls On When On A Date

While dating, guys are far sharper then they might appear. Make sure that you stay on your toes. Here is a list of the top seven things guys notice while out on a date. With the list in hand, make sure that you are prepared for the next date.

Does she have a nice smile?
He’ll be nervous and the first thing he will see is your smile. Make sure you have a nice, confident, happy, smile waiting for him.

Does she have a nice body? Men are men so he will notice your body. Wear something nice that makes you look good. Not sleazy, but something that lets him know you are a woman.

Does she have nice hair and makeup? Believe it or not he will notice. If you have nice hair and make up, it means that you care about what you look like and that you are smart enough to do it right.

Is she smart? Guys want smart girls. If he is serious about having a long term relationship with you then he will want to know that you are not an air head.

Is she interested in me or just herself? He will want to feel like he matters. Guys expect girls to do a bit of self-doting but make sure you are acknowledging his presence and his needs.

Is she interested in the stuff I like?
A man loves to know that you like some of the things he likes. He expects to be taking you to games or to share some of his interests with you.

Is she a caring person? Guys want to know that you are a good person. They will know by the way you treat them and others around you. If you act like a B#@$@ then you can guarantee that ‘long term relationship’ vanished from his mind.


The last one is always; Am I attracted to her? This one is a very particular thing and it is best that you be yourself. Some guys like quirky and funny and other guys like serious and dedicated. If you act as yourself, you will know that he is really interested in you and not who you are pretending to be.

Top 7 Things Women Judge Men On When Dating

When it comes to dating, you always have to be on your toes. This is at least the case until you both know each other better. Here is a list of the top 7 things that a girl will notice about you when you are on a date. Now that you have the list, make sure that you are prepared next time you go out by making sure that you are looking great in her eyes:

1. Is he well Dressed? make sure that you have a good wardrobe; women are interested in clothes and style and if you don’t look good, your not going to get a second chance.

2. Did he come get me on time? If you are late then she will think that you are irresposiblee or you just don’t care about her. Both are bad.

3. Does he have good manners? Open doors and treat her like a lady or she will move on to someone who does.

4. Did he talk to me or at me? Engage in conversation and pay attention to what she has to say. Be interested in her opinion.

5. Did he notice how I looked?
Compliment her, notice her style. Make her feel special.

6. How did he treat others? She will notice how you are with others. Be nice and corteous to the people around you.

7. Was this date more about me or him?
Have fun but make sure she is having a good time too. If it’s your first date then make it all about her.


I suppose that we should really add an 8 to this list, and that is; Am I attracted to him?

This last one is the hard one and often has to do with chemistry. My advise is that you should be yourself on this one. Pretending to be someone you are not is good for one night stands but it’s not good for a real relationship.







Nice Girls Do And Here Is How

Nice girlsare always the most beautiful. They seem unspoiled by the silliness of pop fashion and they seem to keep a level head while all others are desperately trying to replicate the Hilton lifestyle. Their skin is less dry and brittle because they don’t seem to have the need to add a pound of make-up to their faces or to fake tan all the time. They usually have a true sense of personal fashion; they are not following one pop trend or another but are simply wearing things that they like. I have deep admiration for the nice girls of the world.

And contrary to popular opinion, nice girls like men as much as any other woman. Most men just like to say that nice girls are man haters or prudes because nice girls have very little interest in the average man. Other women also find it easier to label the nice girl as a non entity sexually; imagine the kind of trouble that they would be in if they had to compete with girls that look fantastic even though they are not fashion victims, and  look great without high priced Italian accessories. How hard would it be to compete with a girl that through personal morality and ethics, becomes a catch instead of the just another nameless conquest? I believe that certain egos feel much better with certain labels.

But nice girls are sexual creatures like any other healthy woman. They love men and are very interested in finding a man to be with. They want to experience all that life has to offer just like anyone else. You just have to understand that they tend to be more evolved creatures that are not contented with satisfying simple hormonal needs.       

If you want to meet a nice girl and enjoy all of the benefits of having a decent lady in your life, then you have to understand the fundamental difference between how men are attracted to women and how women are attracted to men:

•    When a man is attracted to a woman, he is usually first and foremost attracted to her body. He will instantly check out her curves and her physical fitness. When he sees a woman that he is physically attracted to, he will then pursue her. If he is interested in a real relationship with this woman, he will begin to find out about her inner self and will eventually, if all goes well, fall in love with her heart as much as he has already fallen in love with her body. I make no excuse, we are what we are and Mother Nature knows what she is doing.

•    On the other hand when a woman, especially a nice girl, is attracted to a man, she will first be attracted to his heart and then begins to be attracted to his body. If she is attracted to your wallet then she is probably not a nice girl.

If you want to find nice girl and you want to become intimate with her, then you have to have her fall in love with your heart. To do this you have to show her firstly that you have a code of ethics or a personal sense of honor that is similar to hers. You have to show her that you are creative and passionate. You have to show her that you are caring and that you are willing to, at least with her, show your tender side. You have to essentially make her fall for the inner you.

It doesn’t mean that you have to turn yourself into a girly man. Actually the opposite is the key here. A nice girl, a beautiful, nice girl, is usually looking for a real man. A man that is strong and passionate. A man that has a code of honor. A man that is willing to share himself honestly with her because he isn’t afraid of the world.

One bit of warning before you go out all hell bent on finding yourself that beauty of which I speak:

It’s quite possible that once you find her, you won’t want to let her go. Nice decent girls have a way of making you realize very quickly what you had been missing. When you have had fine cuisine, it’s hard to go back to leftovers.

Learn To Listen And Get A Date

Do you want to know how to go from someone you have just casually met to a hot date? It’s easy to get a date with a “hottie” if you are just able to do one very simple thing; LISTEN.

Let’s say that you have just been introduced to a really hot girl/guy that you find very striking, and you begin to make small talk. In order to make a great impression and to have that person fall for your charm, all you have to do is pay attention to what they have to say. But this is a skill that must be practiced and perfected;  most people are terrible listeners, they are mostly interested in making a point or showing off.

Most people tend to spout off about themselves without ever really caring about the opinion of the other person, even the people that they are talking to at the moment. Let’s take a short quiz;

•    Are you doing other things when people are speaking?
•    Is your mind wandering around; are you thinking about something or someone else when others are speaking?
•    Do you fake listen so that you can get your own comments in?
•    Are you just waiting for the first possible pause in the conversation so that you can enlighten others with your comments?

If you answered yes to any of the above then you are sorely lacking in listening skills my friend. And I can guarantee you that you are not going to impress that hot babe that you want to get a date with. You will just seem like all of the other pompous jerks that he/she has met before.

When you listen to someone, you have to learn to listen to them with your entire being. Make sure that above all you stay quiet and you let them talk without interruption. Do ask questions but after you do, learn to shut up. One of the worst things that you can do is to finish another person’s sentence, or blurt out an answer before the person has finished telling you their tale.

Do you want to do something great for someone? It’s a simple thing and it is possibly one of the best things that you can do to make another person’s day.  It doesn’t take very much really, but it is a skill, a skill that most of us have lost or perhaps were never taught. This skill is the art of listening and truly paying attention to the other person.

If you can do that then you will have that hot girl/guy enthralled in no time. She/he will tell others how interesting you were and how sincere and warm you were.  You will then wonder about this, as I often have, because you will later recall that you had not said much at all. Perhaps you asked good questions, you made eye contact, and you repeated little phrases like; “really..”, “amazing..”, ”that’s horrible..”, or “wow!”

Learn to truly listen to others and you will charm them every time!

Rules of the Successful Dater

Dating can be a difficult game to play. You are sticking your neck out there in the hopes of making a meaningful connection or perhaps in the hopes of connecting with someone sexually. This is very natural, we all need companionship.

Unfortunately dating can sometimes feel like you are going to war. And most of the help material out there will have you believe that all men and women are selfish, emotional creatures that are out there to satisfy some crazy natural selection process. It all has a way of reducing dating to “The Origin Of Species”…

But dating doesn’t have to be so cold blooded or so ruthless. Life is more than some Darwinian nightmare and the sooner that you realize that, the sooner that your dating life will improve beyond your wildest dreams.

Every guy/girl that you meet out there is a complex person with a heart and soul that is screaming out for love and happiness. Sometimes things seem difficult in the dating world because it’s hard to figure out what an individual wants and what he/she is after. The first thing that you need to do in order to make things easier on yourself is to understand that everybody is different and you owe it to any person that you want to meet to find out what she/he is all about.

You are bound to meet nice people, mean ones, difficult ones, happy ones, nasty ones, and just about any combinations that you can think of. It’s up to you to not let first impressions defeat you and to make every effort possible to try and get to know the inner person that stands before you. If you can do that then you will be a very successful dater.

Here are some things that will make it easier for you to meet anyone and if implemented, will allow you to get along with any woman/man; whether this is simply friendship, a casual relation, or to develop a long relationship with:

•    Don’t Argue. This doesn’t mean become a ‘wuse’ and agree to anything that she/he says, because people like to be challenged. But you should be nice and agreeable and be willing to see the other point of view. Call them on their bull but respect them enough to make the effort to see things how she/he sees them.

•    Don’t offend. Some would have you believe that in order to hook up with a girl or guy you have to be a jackass; this is terrible advice. A superior person treats others as their equals and with respect. It’s the person with the self esteem problems that has to offend everybody.

•    Don’t act defeated. First impressions can be hard sometimes and the average girl will usually act quite mean when you first approach her. But think about it from her perspective; some strange guy is coming up to her out of the blue.
The world can be a scary place and if she is a pretty, or beautiful, girl then it’s most likely that she has been approached by hundreds of men in her lifetime. She is just trying to protect herself. But don’t let this first impression to you defeat you, make the effort to move past this and find out about this person.

•    Try to make a friend at all costs. If you go in there with this attitude then you can’t fail. Even if you are totally rejected, it won’t seem so bad because you were acting from a giving heartfelt place.

•    Try to see things from her/his point of view. The sooner you can do this, the sooner that you start to make real meaningful connection with that person. Everything after that is gravy.

Dating is not a struggle or a draconian competition for survival. Dating is about opening yourself up to friendship. It’s about giving of yourself first so that you can find companionship and personal satisfaction. In dating just like anything else in life; the more you give, the more that you will get.

Become Memorable And Get More Dates

Whenever you interact with anyone, you are always leaving a memory of yourself with them. Realize now that it is your responsibility to leave the best possible impression of yourself so that when the people that you are interested in look back, after you have left, they are filled with a very positive memory of you.

Always think of leaving this unforgettable memory of yourself with the opposite sex. Creativity is a wonderful way to do this.  Women deeply enjoy men that have a creative and passionate streak. Sometimes just by going into your creative weirdo, you can come up with many ways that you can make a lasting impression on others. Your wardrobe and fashion for example are great ways to distinguish yourself from the herd and make an impression.

Women tend to feel that men that exhibit rebellious dress are rebellious themselves. A guy with a loud wardrobe and an energetic personality is seen as a loud idiot by other men but that is not what women see. They see a dominant man that is willing to go out and do what he likes, which are many of the qualities of an alpha male. Men hate this kind of individual because he poses a threat to them while women, whether they admit it to others or not, are instantly attracted to his energy.

Men also like exciting and creative women. They are not just looking for the crazy Betty Page, they are actually interested in women that show a sense of independence and personal style. Give up on the frumpy subdued clothes (unless that’s your true style) and experiment with your wardrobe. Think about how you can change your persona so that you become more mysterious and interesting. There is no need for skimpy wear, that’s the easy way out anyway, the idea is to enhance your natural personality and to add just a dash of spice.

Remember to be positive and to always be kind and generous in your nature; there is no need to be a jerk. Try to think about what a woman or a man will say to others and to themselves when you leave. This will give you the basic idea of how you should act and what you should do to leave the best impression possible. If you are having trouble with this concept, think about it in business terms; you are trying to leave a very alluring/professional impression on the people that you are interested in dating, that will get them to think about you after you have gone. This impression has to be strong enough to compel your love interest to seek your company again.

The impressions that we leave on others are sometimes dim and sometimes bright. You can leave a positive, exciting impression or you can leave a negative, repulsive one. You are ultimately the person that chooses the kind of memory you leave in others. You are responsible for this impression so make sure that you work hard to become memorable.


P.S. Need some ideas? Read Get Noticed