If you are constantly dealing with people, or if you find that you are having difficulty dealing with others, it is a very good idea for you to develop your charisma. Natural charisma is a talent that some people have in dealing with others, it helps them to be liked and to usually get what they want with little resistance. Those that do have natural charisma are lucky, but you can also develop charisma on your own with a little effort on your part. Putting in a little effort to develop your charisma can help you any time that you have to deal with others, and since we’re constantly dealing with others, unless you are living somewhere alone in a cave, it will always be to your benefit to work on your charisma.
In order to understand charisma, and develop it, it is best to think of charisma as a way of looking at people and the world. Most people have a very confrontational attitude, they tend to see the world as an ‘us versus them’ situation. This creates a natural barrier that others can see, and therefore begin to treat you as an opponent. In order to develop charisma, it is most important that you get over this attitude of us versus them, and begin to see that this is only a belief that you have which is accurate sometimes and sometimes it is not.
Many people tend to engage with others in a confrontational attitude. This is the case because they naturally go into a ‘fight or flight’ state where their adrenal glands kick in and they are literally ready to fight or to run away. If you find yourself doing this then I suggest that you practice relaxing your body, and start realizing that most people are not out to hurt you. Often people developed this fight or flight response because they have been hurt in the past and they expect to be hurt by others in the future. In order to get yourself out of this trap you need to start monitoring yourself to see when you go into a fight or flight response. Control yourself by first relaxing your body, and if you have the time, by examining your beliefs about what you feel will happen in this situation.
It will take some effort at the start, and perhaps a whole lot of self examination. You will find though that it will definitely be a good thing and if you stick to it you will see that in a short while you will be able to overcome this fight or flight reflex.
The first and most powerful step then in creating natural charisma is the ability to see others as allies instead of as enemies. Try to develop an ‘us’ mentality, so that you see certain tasks as a group cooperation instead of as everyone for themselves. Think of yourself as a friend to others, and always try to find a win-win situation, so that both internally and externally you are sending out the vibe that you are trying to cooperate and not trying to overcome.
There is great charisma projected when you are friendly, and you truly want to know about others. If you show others that you are interested in them and that you wish to know about their lives and the reasons why they’re doing whatever they are doing, you will see that others will respond to you favorably. People need to know that you think of them as more than just objects on your way to getting whatever you want. You need to tell them, both through your body language and the way that you feel, that you think that they are important individuals that will be getting your full respect.
The charismatic never seem to judge others. Whether you are talking to your grandmother or a supermodel, you need to act the same. Now this does not mean that you need to engage others with a monotone tonality and without emotion; what it means is that, while still being your natural self, in another way you show your ability to see the fact that the person before you is a human being. This human being should be given the time to be recognized and given the time to allow him or her to show you their individuality.
If you are having trouble with this concept or if you are having trouble emotionally, I would once again recommend that you examine your beliefs. This way you will able to see what beliefs you are having about people that do not allow you to see them as aequals. We all have certain prejudices that can cloud our judgment and make us think that others are not worthy of our attention or our respect. I am not telling you what you should think or believe but what I am telling you is that it is a good idea to at least examine these beliefs, that way you can make the conscious decision about how you’re feeling and acting at any moment.
Charisma is developed by the attention that you give to others. It is developed through the idea that people are worthy of your attention, and it is made apparent by how others perceive your intentions. People have a natural knack for knowing when someone does not like them so I suggest that you do not try to put on a face, but that you truly begin to examine and change how you deal with others. If you learn to develop your charisma, you will see that the world will become a far easier place to live in and that your ability to get things done will increase manifold.