How to Control Your Emotions
Emotions can be incredibly debilitating if we do not have a way of dealing with them. Emotions that we consider negative such as; anger, fear, sadness, can destroy our ability to act in a logical and coherent manner if we let these emotions go unchecked. Emotions can cloud our better judgment and can affect our ability to perform even simple tasks correctly.
I have mentioned in other articles that you should deal with these emotions by finding out the beliefs that are causing them. I believe that the best way to deal with any kind of negativity is through the study of personal belief systems. That by being able to discover what it is that you are believing about a certain sitiation, you can discover why you are feeling the way you are feeling at the moment. This is the only way to be able to stop negativity completely and I show you how to go about doing this in this article…
There are times though when we are out and about and cannot just stop in the middle of whatever we are doing to question our belief systems. Negativity can be stopped over time by discovering your beliefs, but what do you do in the meantime? What do you do when you’re being assaulted by emotions that are completely crippling your ability to act and think properly?
Well there are ways that you can deal with these emotions. There are ways to stop them so that you are able to continue in a productive manner. You can call it the fine art of ‘Vulcanism’; this is in reference to Vulcans who are a race of alien beings in Star Trek that can completely control their emotions.
1. The first method that I would like to discuss and present to you, which I have not talked about very much in the past, is the technique of the Here & Now. How this technique works is that you stop any emotion by completely focusing on the Here & Now. This is fundamentally a Zen Buddhism concept; it basically says that the mind is the cause of all negativity and emotional unrest, that the mind exists in the future and in the past but that it is completely absent in the present moment.
If you pay attention to your thought process, you will quite quickly realize that this thought process is usually lost in future scenarios or in past events. By focusing your mind on this present moment, you are able to stop that mental dialogue that never seems to rest. If you take a moment now to look about you, to see the things in the room before you, to hear the sounds that are now perceivable to you, you will be able to understand what is meant by focusing your mind on the present moment. By focusing more and more on this present reality that is all about you, you increase the power of the Here & Now.
Existing in this present moment takes a lot of personal focus and discipline. The mind, because it has been given so much free reign, will very quickly take off into the future or the past. It takes a lot of discipline on your part therefore to try and stay focused on this present moment and not to deviate. But you do not need to become an instant Zen master, all you need to do is to remember that if you ever find yourself in an emotionally crippling situation, what you need to do is to focus your mind as completely as possible on the Here & Now. If you can do this, then your mind will not be able to wander into a terrible past or a horrible future. By being completely focused on the present moment, you will forget about whatever might have happened in the past and will not worry about whatever might happen in the future. I this way your emotional state will be quelled, and you will be able to attain a very powerful unemotional state.
2. Another method to be able to stop those negative and crippling emotions when they present themselves is to learn to relax. It is impossible to be able to feel anything, other than joy and comfort, if your body is completely relaxed. Any emotion, especially the negative ones, create a tension in the body as a person’s electromagnetic energy increases. Tension increases electromagnetic energy, tension also traps electromagnetic energy in the body like a kink in a hose, if there is no tension then there is no possibility of emotional escalation because it is this energy that is needed to feel emotion.
If you can completely relax your body then you will be able to control all emotion. Next time that you have some kind of emotional situation, try to pay attention to how your body feels. Try to notice where your body is tense and how strong that tension is. You will notice that any emotion, aside from joyous complacency, will cause a tension in your body that you will be able to feel.
You can will yourself to relax this tension if you are vigilant and can identify what part of your body becomes tense; use your will to relax this tension. If you are not able to maintain this level of focus and intention yet, a great way to relax this body tension is to focus on your exhalation. Next time that you feel a debilitating emotion, take a deep breath and hold that breath for a couple of seconds and then exhale in a quiet sigh. That exhalation should be done by completely relaxing the body and letting the exhalation happen by itself. As you inhale try to tense every single muscle of your body, hold that inhalation/tension for 2 to 5 seconds, and then completely relax your body. As your body relaxes completely, let that exhale come out on its own without any effort on your part all. If you do this correctly, you will feel a wonderful sense of relaxation as your blood pressure lowers. Your body will relax completely and any kink will be released, the energy accumulated in this tension will be released and all emotion will be washed away. Do this relaxing breath as often as you need to.
With these two methods you should be able to stop any emotion that you feel. In this way you can even control what kind of emotions you want to feel, but this is something that I don’t actually recommend since I do believe that negative emotions have a place and a reason. You can for example let yourself feel all the positive emotions in your life but completely cut out all the negative ones with the above two techniques.
This though would not be something that would be good for you in the long run. Negative emotions are usually signals that we are unhappy with a situation; the reason for this is always a belief that we have that relates to this situation. If you do not express these emotions, you will not be able to discover the reasons for these emotions. If you cannot discover the reasons for these emotions then you will not be able to grow spiritually and objectively. Negative emotions are a catalyst for change, they feel unpleasant because they are trying to tell us that that we need to change something now. Without the energy that they provide, we will not have the impetus or mental focus to be able to search out that problem and to change it.
Use the above to techniques when you need to control crippling emotions that are not allowing you to perform correctly at the moment, but don’t define these emotions as evil or unconstructive. Sometimes emotions are part of our intuition and they can help us to discover things that we are having trouble understanding logically. For example it could be that you might want to work with a certain person but that you feel something negative whenever you are close to that person. This could be your intuition telling you that this person should not be trusted. Its ok to not feel happy and loving all the time.
It is also the case sometimes that emotions cloud or judgments and we trust people that we shouldn’t because somehow they have been able to tug at our heartstrings. My advice to you is to first feel those emotions and then to turn them off to see if there’s any difference in your judgment from one perspective to the other. It will be then up to you to learn to recognize the difference between intuitive feeling and overzealous emotion. Trust in your being, trust in the power of your whole self.
With control comes power. Hopefully with the two techniques above you will be able to empower yourself to control your emotions when you have to and to be able to feel them and express them when you think you need to. To permanently stop any negativity that you feel, and to be able to understand your greater being, you will need to discover the belief systems that are causing all your emotions. Use the above to techniques wisely to control your emotions consciously.