Self-confidence comes easily to some while it is most difficult for others. Self-confidence can really be boiled down to a belief about your personal self. Even though it is the case that external circumstances tend to make self-confidence easy or very difficult, it is personal belief that is the source of all self-confidence. A belief in your own ability and in your own self-worth is imperative.
Self-confidence is not something that many are born with. It is the case then that self-confidence must be practiced. To do this you must motivate yourself and make it a goal to always question any feelings that are negative and make you feel like you are less than anything or anyone else. By questioning and understanding these thoughts and feelings, you will begin to understand the beliefs that are creating these negative thoughts and feelings. Even though it might seem like external circumstance, please realize that it is the belief that really shapes the way that you see the world around. By understanding these beliefs and questioning them, you are essentially practicing at becoming more self-confident.
Sometimes it’s a good idea to act self-confident even though you don’t feel that way. By acting in a self confident manner you begin to ‘feel’ for yourself what self-confidence feels like. By understanding this feeling you can learn to replicate it in the future and you can understand better why self confidence is such a good feeling to have. By acting confident you can also bring up those feelings and thoughts that are telling you that you are not self-confident at all. Do not suppress these feelings, like some gurus would have you to, instead learn to experience these feelings fully but with the intention of discovering the underlying beliefs that are causing you to have these feelings and thoughts. In this way acting confident can be both a learning tool and a motivator to get you to work hard at finally truly becoming more self-confident.
If you can become flexible in the way that you act, you will find that self-confidence will be a far easier thing to accomplish. This is so because flexibility of action allows you to have options and with options comes confidence. Always therefore try to plan ahead and give yourself as many contingency plans as possible. By having contingencies you are flexible and by being flexible it becomes very difficult to knock you off your track. Be strategic in your actions and be prepared for any unforeseen circumstance by realizing that unforeseen circumstances can happen at any moment. Give yourself contingencies, and even though you can’t prepare for everything, the fact that you to have more options will allow you to develop more confidence.
We all make mistakes, that is the way of life. Always learn from your mistakes because this is the only way that you’re going to avoid them in the future. Mistakes are your natural course correctors, they show you what to do by showing you what has not worked in the past. If you are not making mistakes your basically going stagnant. Mistakes are good therefore, don’t let them ruin your confidence.
Many of those that lack self-confidence tend to have a little voice inside their heads that is usually telling them some negative thing or other. There are times when you will need to silence this little voice because it will turn from a little voice into a loud scream and it can be quite distracting. When you need to act that your best, learn to quiet this voice so that it does not get in your way. Generally though do realize that this voice is actually your ally and friend; what it is really doing is telling you where you might be making a mistake, it’s sort of like your own ‘Spidey Sense’. Imagine having something so powerful that it allows you to know instantly where you might be going wrong. Generally speaking then, as long as the voice is not hindering your action at a critical time, try to turn this supposed enemy into perhaps one of the greatest allies that you will ever have. It will show you where you are about to make a mistake and where you might be going the wrong way, it will also show you what beliefs you have that are making you feel less than worthy.
Finally always remember to be kind to yourself. Being kind to yourself means understanding that you should love yourself as much as you are willing to love many others in your life. It is sometimes amazing to realize that there are people who are willing to give everything of themselves to those that are important in their lives but that they are not able to be this kind to themselves. Be kind to yourself and realize that you are a great traveler that is on a journey of self discovery. Learn to love yourself and self-confidence will come naturally.