How To Overcome Low Self Esteem
Self-esteem is the prerequisite to self-confidence and to greater and better personal accomplishment. It is something that you must always work towards developing within yourself because it is the great resource that creates fine accomplishment. Self-esteem is also responsible for your internal happiness and is the one thing that can help you begin to truly enjoy your life. It is seldom the case that we all naturally feel great self-esteem, it is usually something that most of us have to work at.
In order to develop your self-esteem, begin to attack those prejudices which might lead you to undervalue who you are. These prejudices are beliefs that we hold about ourselves. Many times we believe that these beliefs are unquestionable and we therefore turn these beliefs into concrete facts that we cannot change. The reality of the situation though is that these beliefs are interchangeable and that there is no belief that is bedrock fact, there are only beliefs that you will not question. It is critical then that you question these beliefs that would have you believe that you are a lesser person.
In order to develop your self-esteem you must also learn to stifle that inner critic. That inner critic is that little voice or that feeling that you have that tells you that you are not special. It usually questions everything that you do and tells you that you are not capable. This critic is the end result of those beliefs that you have about yourself, those beliefs that are telling you that you are a lesser person. By questioning your beliefs you begin to stifle this inner critic. Whenever this inner critic begins its rhetoric, try to question what it’s trying to tell you. For example if your inner critic tells you that you are not good enough, ask yourself why you believe that you are not good enough. Using your inner critic as an ally you will discover those negative beliefs that you have. With this realization you should find it easier to change these beliefs and to replace those ‘supposed’ facts with a belief about yourself that is far more empowering.
People with low self-esteem tend to have a double standard; they tend to judge themselves unfairly while they give others great leeway. Because of their low self-esteem they tend to think that everything that they do is wrong while others seem to have a free pass. Many do not even realize that they’re doing this but it does contribute to their low self-esteem and it confirms those beliefs that they have about themselves. Pay attention next time that you are dealing with others and see if you are treating them and yourself differently. Do you have a double standard?
Whenever you do anything in life you should always try to do the best that you can. As long as you are doing this you should not feel bad about your actions or about your results. Try not to berate yourself for not being perfect because perfection is a lie. Those with beliefs that create low self-esteem tend to believe that they can do nothing right and therefore find it impossible to find the perfection that they seek. By questioning your beliefs you should be able to realize that many of the standards that you hold yourself to are quite unrealistic. There is no such thing as perfection because everything is always in a state of becoming more. While you might think that doing something exactly like someone else, perhaps an expert in the field, might be perfection; the reality of the fact is that perfection is not possible in that way because it is impossible for you to do anything exactly like someone else. The reason for this is that you are not that person and every person has different capabilities. You should use the standards of experts as reference but you should always realize that you need to do things in your own way and by doing things in your own way you will never achieve perfect duplication of their actions. Greater self-esteem should allow you to realize that you need to do things your own way.
As you begin to question your beliefs about low self-esteem you might realize that you are spending an awful lot of time with people that are bringing you down. Always try to spend more time with people that make you feel good. Those with low self-esteem tend to naturally gravitate towards those people that would confirm their beliefs about themselves. Usually these people are negative and tend to treat you in a negative way. Begin by changing these negative beliefs and also try to let go of those people from your past that are bringing you down. Try to find and spend more time with those that bring you joy and happiness. Spend more time with those that empower you instead of making you feel like you are nothing.
As you can see, self-esteem is definitely something that most of us need to work at. By understanding this fact and realizing that most likely low self-esteem is directly related to what you believe about yourself, you can begin to pull yourself out of this quagmire and start to develop more positive beliefs about yourself.