How To Stop Hypocrisy in Yourself
If you want to be true to yourself, you must continually be on the lookout for times when you are giving people a double standard. A double standard is really a form of hypocrisy where you hold people accountable in a certain way but you do not hold that same accountability for yourself. In order to develop your ‘self’ and your personal integrity, you have to be able to hold yourself to the same standard that you hold everyone else to.
A double standard is most obvious when we tend to have a certain standard for ourselves but then we have a different standard for all those people that we do not agree with or do not like. This is a most dangerous type of prejudice because it does not allow us to see the correct picture of the situation; which can be even deadly at times. It is up to you to choose who you like or dislike for whatever reason you like; just remember to be fair in your assessments or you might be blindsided by something you did not see.
Sometimes we fail to live in accordance with our own professed beliefs and ideals. This too is a double standard because we often times tend to impose these ideals on others while deep down we believe that we do not have to live by them ourselves. It becomes really easy to see yourself as a savior or a godlike figure in your own mind while everyone else around you is seen as a flawed being that must be saved or shunned. If you believe that everyone sucks while deep down you feel superior to them, then you are engaged in this type of hypocrisy. If you believe that you suck along with everyone else, then it is perhaps time that you question that belief; it is certainly not helping you in any way.
It is even the case that we create a type of double standard where we think that those above us are somehow beyond reproach while we are all quite flawed and deserve what we get. This last type of double standard can allow you to survive injustices that are imposed upon you but if this hypocrisy is not questioned then tyranny is never stopped. This is the worst kind of hypocrisy because at least in the others you were better or equal to others. This type of hypocrisy turns you into a serf.
Always try to see where you are using a double standard. Sometimes this can be hard to actually see because it can be something that we blind ourselves to, where we believe that for example we can do a certain thing while our spouse should not be able to. Try to identify these cases and the beliefs that you hold here so that you can begin to question the standards that you hold for yourself and others. By questioning your standards and bringing them into the light you can begin to realize what you are doing wrong, which can sometimes almost seem accidental in that you do not realize you had been doing it, and to change them at the root core of your beliefs. Questioning your beliefs will shed light into your reasoning and will allow you to change these beliefs accordingly. This will change your standards and hopefully end any hypocrisy on your part.
As you begin to identify these beliefs that do indeed shape your reality, make a list of the beliefs that seem to be most important to you on any one particular subject. See if you can identify situations where your behavior is inconsistent to what you believe you should be doing in that one area. This would be an area where you are saying one thing but you are doing something else altogether. It is good to realize that your actions are controlled by your beliefs. By contemplating your past actions in a certain situation, you can begin to see where what you say and what you do tends to differ. It is in these areas that you must study your beliefs because it is quite possible that there are beliefs in this area that you are completely overlooking. This is an area where you are not really being true to yourself, you are lying to yourself by doing one thing and saying another. Unless this is a completely conscious act on your part, you need to question your beliefs.
Whenever you believe that others have the right to do something but you do not have that right then you must discover why this is so. You will never be able to discover a black and white answer to this, you can only discover what you believe to be the case. By realizing that there is nothing that is black and white, you will begin to realize that others cannot impose their beliefs upon you. It is perhaps one of the greatest discoveries that there is; the discovery that there is no real truth in life but that there is only personal belief. This discovery can be incredibly frightening because it shows you the incredible freedom that you have in all areas of our life. Discover your personal beliefs on a matter and question any belief that places you below someone else.
Hypocrisy is something that must always be identified. You must always notice any contradictions that you have in your life, where you are doing or expecting something from yourself while at the same time you are expecting something else completely from others. By understanding these double standards, you will begin to understand your beliefs. Especially those beliefs that can take on a type of invisibility; the invisibility is caused because we believe them to be facts and therefore beyond question. In order to increase your personal integrity and expand your personal awareness you need to discover this hypocrisy and you need to discover the beliefs that are causing it.
i think that when personal beliefs is found to be the same in most of the people, it is then called a truth, so how this could be true ? – ” there is no real truth in life but that there is only personal belief ”
Great article by the way, looking forward for positive results! :))
Hi, and thank you very much for your positive comment.
You are absolutely correct, the real meaning of truth is a belief that is held by many people. And having a belief, a belief that you consider to be the truth, is not a bad or a negative thing. When I speak of hypocrisy in this article, I am trying to get at the root cause of the type of injust action that causes pain to yourself and others. This does not mean that certain beliefs are right while others are wrong; the only important thing is that you examine your beliefs, consciously identify them, and take responsibility for them. As I said in the article, “Unless this is a completely conscious act on your part, you need to question your beliefs.”
In the article I mentioned something that is quite difficult for many to wrap their heads around; the idea that there is no absolute truth but only beliefs. But remember that this is only a belief after all, and according to those very same standards that this belief engenders, this belief can be said to be just a personal opinion; a belief held by some but not all. This article was not made to try and fight against the validity of certain beliefs but it was designed to create food for thought and give you the impetus to question all your beliefs so that you come to a conscious understanding of the fundamental building blocks of your reality; your beliefs.
Thank you for your introspective article…just what I needed to read.
I find myself having double standards all the time. It seems to stem from knowing what’s rite but falling victim to temptations.
Although the nature of “comments” was a very different topic than what I reaped from your article, may I say, I felt very content when I heard someone saying “truth is where contradiction rests.”
Knowing the root cause of your contradictions is the hardest part of the battle, now your desire to be more yourself will naturally open you up to better ways of doing things; you just have to follow and trust your good feeling (fair minded feeling) impulses when they present themselves.
Thanks Tony, that quote sums things up very well!
I am the biggest hypocrite and have dedicated my time to helping others just to look like im not but i do it mostly to avoid my lame life and the fact that i cant stop lying and pretending to be good.
Good for you, you are far more honest than most people are even privately to themselves. Perhaps, if you want, you can explore what you believe helps others and what you believe being good is. Perhaps your ideas of being good and helpful are not your own, but ideas imposed on you by society at large. Then you might discover that you are not so lame at all, you are just a fine chameleon.
What a thoughtful article!
Speaking from my experience, there’s quite frankly nothing worse in life than to be stuck in hypocritical interaction with anyone without understanding since it adds to the feeling of loneliness more than any other factor. That is exactly why it is important for an individual to be able to examine and question belief whether it is imposed from within or outside. After all, evil is born out of double standards. It feels uncanny when our modern world visibly imposes empowerment as a “solution” that appears to have no effect on what double standards are and how they operate. Just my two cents.
Thank you for your words and experience!
“there is no real truth in life but that there is only personal belief.” And even that is a personal belief. Head hurts 🙂 Thank you for this article, I have been living a double life and this made me face my fears.