Self-Improvement and Interesting Knowledge

One of the hardest, yet one of the most powerful things that you can do to change your life is to; stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. We all focus on that which is the most emotional thing in our present reality. What this means is that we dwell on the emotional. Unfortunately our emotions are often negative and we focus all our attention on that.

“&%*&^& happens!” That’s just the way life is, “sometimes good sometimes bad”. The problem lies in the fact that we spend way too much time thinking and contemplating the bad stuff and hardly any time at all focusing on the good.

I have mentioned in other articles that, just like the phrase says, “we tend to get what we focus on”. This is not just a metaphysical concept. Since we can’t see everything, we are all very selective in our focus. If we focus on the bad then there is no room for the good. When you are busy thinking about this jerk you had to deal with or that terrible chore that you have to do, you have no way to see the beautiful day or discover the solution that would solve your problems. You can’t find a solution if you are focusing on the problem.

You get what you expect so stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen or else it will happen. Every great solution is outside of the realm of the problem. That is what is meant when people say that you need to think outside the box. If you are in the box then you are focused on the problem. To find your solution you must step outside the box. To do that you have to focus on what you want and forget what you don’t want.

The mind is a very selective thing, it can handle only so much information. The proof of this is easy enough; see if you can hold two thoughts in your head, or how about three. If you are trying to focus on more than one thing then you are not focused enough. Every boss wants to know if you are good at multitasking, but multitasking is really an impossibility. You can only do one thing at a time well. Your mind requires that you focus on one thing at a time. You must therefore focus on the right thing, and the right thing is always what you want not what you don’t want.

Because of the selectiveness of your mind, you will see that if you focus on one thing, you can’t really focus on something else. This is actually a very good thing because it makes your life a lot easier. This is the answer to how you can stop focusing on what you don’t want. The process then becomes, consciously focus on this so that you don’t unconsciously focus on that. Your mind as I have said can only focus on one thing well so the trick then is to choose what it focuses on.  Instead of having it contemplate that which you don’t care for, direct it to that which you desire.

You might find this difficult at first but with some small effort, you will see great reward. Usually the difficulty lies in the fact that when we are focusing on things we don’t want, we are also gripped by really negative emotions. Unfortunately the only way to get past this is to hone the power of your focus so that you keep focusing on what you want until those negative emotions let you go. Once these negative emotions let go a bit, it becomes much easier to focus on the wanted. In no time at all you will strengthen that focus muscle and this will have a great effect on your life.

Stop focusing on what you don’t want. Since your mind can only focus on one thing at a time, focus on what you want instead. Strengthen your ability to focus on what you want by riding out the negative emotions until you can actually feel better. In no time your focus will become very strong and you will be able to change your reality.  After all, if you can control the emotions you feel throughout the day, you are literally changing your reality. So get outside the box and find the solution to you problems; stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen.





  1. Wonderful way of explaining it. What we don’t want is always meshed in with judgement and negative thoughts.

  2. Ah, yes, that “multi-tasking”. So often we see these advertisements for jobs, and the job description reads that people who apply for said job have to be good at “multi-tasking”. This is garbage, and what it really means is that the company wants to hire one individual to do the jobs of 2 or more individuals. You are right, one cannot multi-task and do anything well.
    Focus is key, and maybe this is something that scares people; including various employers, who are afraid that if someone focuses, that someone might see what a ridiculously bad company it is. Also, doing the focusing items you have presented, John, produces some rather interesting reactions from people. Either they love it or hate it; very few are ever indifferent to it. Fascinating!

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