We all need to learn to listen better. The best way to be able to develop good relationships with others is to be able to listen and pay attention to what they have to say. Listening attentively shows respect and shows that you care about what the other person is saying, that this person is important enough and that what they have to say is worthy of scrutiny.
Many people have huge amounts of difficulty listening to others. It is quite often the case that they do not try to listen to understand, they are just waiting for the other person to stop talking so that they can speak next. This is a terrible thing to do because you are really not interacting with someone else you are just trying to outdo them. Don’t let your ego become so powerful and so self-important that it believes it has the right to ignore all others. When you are talking with someone else try to listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Try to listen to someone with the intent of understanding what they are trying to tell you. All communication is very complex and there is something going on both externally and internally. The only way that you will be able to understand that communication completely is by paying attention to what the other person is saying.
Often we believe that we are paying attention while others speak. We tell ourselves that we are good people and we are paying attention to others as we should. A good rule of thumb to use on yourself is to ask yourself if you remember what the other person said. If you can remember what others said it is a proof to others and to yourself that you were listening. If you cannot remember what other said then you must admit to yourself that what the other person was saying was not important enough for you to pay attention to it. This can have grave consequences in a relationship and it can make it very difficult for you to make a point of view because in order to make a point of view you have to be able to understand the other person’s perspective.
Listening is the fundamental fuel that builds relationships with others. By listening attentively and completely, you tune into the other person’s psyche and it becomes very easy to understand where they are coming from. If you are not listening to others, there is no trick that you can use to further a relationship with them. While it is a popular idea that certain tricks and techniques like ‘mirroring’ can help you to develop better relationships, that truth of the fact is that any external trick will fail in the long run when you are not respecting the other person by not listening or paying attention to them. Instead of trying some new and cool technique to try and develop the semblance of a good relationship, try to pay attention instead and to truly listen to the person that is before you.
Listening is an art. It is developed through your ability to focus on the other person and to make them a priority at that moment. You show this attentiveness to the other person through your body language and through your mental focus. You do not need to develop any special kind of body language in order to trick the person into believing that you are paying attention, all you need to do is to actually pay attention and your body will do the right things naturally. Learn to truly listen to other people and you will build strong relationships and through those strong relationships you will be able to get these new cohorts to do what you desire.