The Walking Crazy
There are individuals who choose to look, while others shy away from going deep enough. There are those who find intrigue in exploring potential opportunities, even if they initially seem absurd. On the other hand, there are people who cannot spare time from their hectic schedules filled with endless work and busy tasks to delve into anything deemed inconsequential by today’s rational society.
It is all crazy from beginning to end.
In the midst of a hectic life, you might momentarily pause, almost by accident, to gaze up at the stars on a dark and lonely night and contemplate what life is about. The fascinating part is that the simple act of focusing on this intriguing question seems to shift your mind for a moment. Within that fleeting window of focused time, as you ponder the meaning of existence, it can occur that a multitude of questions and theories may invade your thoughts. You may recall old philosophical musings or thoughts that you may have heard, or you may recall just the right phrases or ideas that you may have seen or heard from various sources. Some might even wonder at that moment why our minds work this way, that is, we focus on one thing and are instantly flooded by previously unexplored thoughts and concepts. It is almost as if the focus of our attention, in this case the focus on the infinite expanse of the sky above us, simultaneously draws us into that infinity while at the same time pulls into our minds a multitude of questions and theories that we may have pondered for years.
And this is where most people may turn away. Almost unconsciously, sometimes with conscious effort, something else seems to pop into our minds and as our focus shifts, our brief moment of contemplation ends. That prior moment is lost, gone, forgotten, and something else draws your attention away from the dark sky and the glittering stars. And interestingly, you find that you are somewhat relieved that the busyness of life has engaged you once again, so you do not have to think about crazy theories, crazy ideas, crazy feelings that, in the end, do not matter very much at all from the point of view of average life and living.
But those who are crazy enough to openly ponder the dark infinity above them for a little longer than average, begin to discover, through the strange focusing power of the mind, an odd reality that exists alongside the mundane world. It is like they have stumbled across a secret that was right in front of their faces all along but they could not quite see for some reason. This is their first clue that something is strange, something is not quite as they have been told it is.
And upon contemplating the dark yet glittering immeasurable expanse above them, odd questions may arise, such as: why are we here? Is this all there is? Am I just a meat machine? Is there a soul? Is there a heaven? Is there more to me? Are there powers within me that are untapped?
Upon contemplating such questions, there arises this desire, a more accurate word would be commandment, to turn away and think about other things. Some will turn to theology and instantly begin to recite to themselves all of the beliefs that are part of that reality tunnel, almost like a bandage, to try to mend the fracture that they have felt so deeply inside. Others will turn to the modern theology of the times, rational skepticism, and begin to recite in their heads all of the beliefs that are part of that reality tunnel. But whether it is the gods in heaven or the latest scientific theories on space, planets, and gravity, the commandment to look away is obeyed.
Then, infinity and all those other worlds before them turn into something mundane, something easy to handle, something altogether sane. And thankfully, the average person can enjoy the beauty of the sky without worry, and quite literally protect themselves from the onslaught of the great Titans above and beyond the human world.
But what about those who pay attention for just a little longer, while resisting the great commandment to turn the extraordinary into the mundane? Well, for those who are crazy enough to pay attention for sometimes even just a few seconds longer, an odd thing begins to happen.
This process starts as a feeling and it is difficult to put into words. That feeling is like you have uncovered something that was right in front of your face all along. It is like seeing something that was always there but somehow just beyond your vision, just beyond your ability to focus. And as you look up at the immeasurably dark sky and the stars, infinity will pull you. You will feel it in your stomach, almost like something is pulling you up, as if you could fall up. And as that feeling invades your mundane reality, you will finally realize that we are all falling, that the entire world is ever falling into infinity.
It’s like a goldfish looking beyond the edge of its fishbowl and seeing a whole other world beyond its little bubble of existence. Can anyone who is sane be blamed for not wanting to understand or feel in any way the limits of their tiny little world, let alone contemplate the possibility that the fishbowl, one day might shatter!
Sometimes, even a few seconds of looking into the infinite while struggling to fight the commandment to look away can turn you into the walking crazy. We are the walking crazy, we who have realized our precarious position in this tiny little fishbowl. Our limited little goldfish brains might only be able to perceive so much, and our attention span is so small, but for some that glimmering moment is enough to turn them into the walking crazy.
The majority of us have had this kind of moment at some point in our lives, perhaps many, when we have looked up into the dark skies and into infinity and wondered. Some of us have been able to maintain our focus on that infinity long enough, to come to the life-shattering realization that we are merely tiny goldfish in a precarious little fishbowl, a small and fragile little fishbowl that is falling into the very depths of infinity.
Being able to maintain that focus long enough to be able to see the precarious nature of our existence and the infinity all around us, is a burden. Many people speak of wanting to understand the riddle of existence. But the truth is that deep down, few are genuinely interested in such mind shattering revelations.
The infinite is all around us. The odd and the weird are around every bend, and hidden within all of the angles that make up our walls, our cage. But most will not resist, or fight in any way, the commandment to turn the magnificent, the magical, the mysterious, the frightening, into the mundane.
Perhaps you have experienced the way of the walking crazy to some degree. Perhaps in one of those moments, as you stared into infinity, you realized the frailty of our existence and glimpsed the Titans beyond our fishbowl.
Upon becoming the walking crazy, even if it’s for just a fleeting moment, there are three general possibilities for all of us. The first two options are the most common:
The first is that, as you catch a glimpse of eternity and instantly become conscious of the madness that is taking over, you come to your senses and turn away. This is what most of us do. Faced with the madness of eternity, you quickly turn away and try to explain your feelings and realizations as some kind of illusion or mistake. You may then spend the rest of your life trying to ignore or forget about it, wondering at times if that moment and those feelings were real, but in the end, you will come to accept that it was just a momentary delusion that had no consequence.
The second option is that you cannot fight that madness and accept it. But you accept it as any normal human being would. And that is to believe yourself to be sick, afflicted, stricken. You may then walk down that long road of insanity and allow the world to take care of you in whatever way is fashionable for the times. Lost in insanity you can then blame the world for your sickness, but most importantly you can forget about that infinity that you had seen, accepting the fact that it was all a delusion and therefore inconsequential, stupid, sick.
The third option is the option of the walking crazy. After seeing infinity such individuals know that they can never go back. Some may keep looking into infinity, while others might have had enough from just one glimpse. But whatever the case the walking crazy accept the fact that they are crazy, that they can no longer tolerate the mundane facts of the average world. Having accepted their lot as the consciously insane, in accordance to the standards of the modern world, they learn to go on and to hide the fact that they are now a wholly different kind of animal.
In the best of cases, the walking crazy revel in the fact that they are free, and use that freedom as a source of extra energy that they can then channel into further seeing, further exploration farther and farther away from the cage of humanity.
The walking crazy that have accepted their lot and go on can become marvellous beasts. If they are successful in their mission, they will conceal their insanity from the rest of the world, knowing that if their madness is exposed, people will attempt to cure them.
You may recognize these individuals by a sudden, almost feral glint in their eyes, which they quickly try to hide. They may be staring endlessly at the sky or a tree, and often seem lost in thought, as if in some kind of delusion, lost in worlds far beyond the human.
There is no cure for the walking crazy. There is no reward for us because surely it would be madness to believe that after a long and fruitful journey of overcoming obstacles, we may finally find peace at last. There will always be another barrier to overcome, another wall to break. We are fighters seeking the infinite quest for complete freedom, and for us, the reward is not some destination but rather the struggle itself and the endless journey into boundless, immeasurable space. After all, what else would you expect from those who are supposedly insane?
If you would like to know the way of the walking crazy. If you are insane or daring enough to read a book that may just turn you into the walking crazy yourself, then I recommend the book, The Art of transmutation.