Self-Improvement and Interesting Knowledge

Many of us find it very difficult to take criticism. Generally criticism is taken as a direct attack on the self. While it is the case that some criticism is given in order to derail a person, most criticism has the positive benefit of showing you where you are going wrong. Any criticism should be handled with objective detachment that can only come from personal control of the ego.

When you are being criticized, you should analyze the situation carefully and determine if you have acted wisely. It is always good strategy to admit your mistakes openly and honestly, always telling the whole truth and admitting any ineptness on your part. By being completely honest and facing up to any criticism right away, you diffuse any anger that is directed at you. You can also handle the situation objectively by not having to protect your ego through anger or lies.

Always try to utilize a logical and objective approach. This means that you must ask yourself; is this true or false? Who said it? Is this person’s opinion of value? Is this person prejudiced or is this person an honest critic?

Apply cool objective scrutiny to analyze any criticisms brought up against you, taking them apart in detail and examining the to see if they are correct. In this way in an objective and detached manner you can see if the criticisms are just or unjust. If they are correct then admit your mistake and try and correct it. If they are not correct then forget about them and continue with your work.

It is always important to never get angry and attack someone over any criticism. Even those that criticize you in order to try and attack you should not be attacked in return. If you do this you will actually be playing into their game and you will be seen as an emotional person that cannot be trusted. By staying cool and objective you show others that you are confident in your work and that you are willing to consider anything objectively.

In an objective and detached manner, ask yourself if the person or persons had the right to take the actions that they did. If they had a right to question your motives and your work then accepted it as an inevitable participation with them. If they did not, then you must point this out as it is important in your defense against whatever criticism they might have made.

Whenever we are criticized is very easy to start pitying ourselves. When we pity ourselves, we go on about how terrible the world is and how everything is against us. You should always ask yourself one simple question; am I enjoying my misery? This is a good question to ask and it will allow you to discover whether you are just applying self-pity in order to trying feel better. Whether you were right or wrong, whether your critics were correct or incorrect, you must never pity yourself and must always be prepared to take action to remedy your situation.

If criticism is studied in an objective manner, you will realize that even though emotions can be involved, those that criticize you are always giving you good advice; whether they want to or not. Look at the situation objectively, and look at your actions objectively. Discover whether you were at fault or not and in a very logical and detached manner come up with solutions to any problems that you find.

Admit to others and to yourself that you can make mistakes. Never let your ego push you into an aggressive stance where you position yourself in a manner that can be easily toppled. Criticism can be given by those that want to help or it can be given by those that want to hurt. If you understand that all criticism is a chance of discovering newer and better strategy, you can use any situation to your advantage. Learn to take criticism properly and you will never be thwarted by it.

 

 

 

 

Many believe that they need to control their anger. While it is true that you need to control your emotional responses around people, some tend to believe that controlling your anger means stifling yourself. All emotions should be felt and experienced naturally, if you do not do this you will end up hurting yourself because emotional repression can lead to mental aberrations and even ill health.

For many of us anger is a very powerful emotion. All emotions are energy, energy that is supposed to be naturally used to take action and create change, and anger is perhaps one of the most powerful that we have. In order to learn to manage anger, you must begin by realizing that you cannot suppress this powerful emotion. You must allow yourself to feel this emotion completely and to be able to use this emotion and the power of this emotion to create positive change in your life.

I think what people don’t really realize is the fact that they have far more control over themselves than they realize. Most believe that once they start to experience anger, they are basically lost to a primitive impulse the will take over them (and usually does because this is what they believe) and will make them do violent and silly things. If you believe that anger is such a powerful and primitive emotion, then you will be scared by this emotion whenever you feel it and you will suppress this emotion. If you suppress this emotion, it will become stronger and stronger until eventually you will explode in a violent fit that will indeed be negative and unproductive.

First and foremost start to believe right now that you have far more control over yourself than you give yourself credit for. Secondly, stop suppressing your anger when it presents itself. By suppressing this anger you suppress natural physical activity and emotions that can easily transform a situation that is not to your liking. By experiencing these emotions right away and expressing them, you get the problem ‘in the bud’ as it were. If you don’t act naturally and suppress your anger, you don’t take action, you don’t even provide those facial cues that show another person that you are not happy with the situation, this means that the problem that you have is not fixed. This can only continue so long and it will eventually lead to you blowing up in a huge emotional outburst.

Many believe that if you don’t suppress your emotions you will commit some kind of travesty like the ones that we have seen lately where people go crazy and they start shooting others. You must realize that people that do this are people that have been repressing what they have been feeling for a very long time. People that have not found any other way to express the anger that they feel and the frustration that builds over time. These people believe that their anger is to powerful and that if they expressed even a little bit of it, they will commit some kind of terrible crime. As a result, they suppress themselves and what they feel. Eventually the suppression builds to a boiling point and it is further compounded by the growing belief that they are powerless to change their current situation. Sooner or later these people blow up and they end up either hurting themselves or hurting others.

If you would naturally express your emotions when you feel them, you would not suppress feelings and actions that could solve your problem right away. If you believe that you can’t express your emotions in front of others, then I suggest that you find some kind of outlet for these emotions when you are by yourself. You could for example get yourself a punching bag and beat it, screaming and yelling out your frustrations. In this way if you let your emotions happen naturally, you will end up discovering the reason for your great anger, however obvious or not so obvious it might have been to you before. Yell into a pillow, stomp, rage. Learn to express your anger and you will find great relief.

By learning to express your anger in this way, either privately or more naturally around those around you, you will discover the power that anger has to change a situation to your benefit. There is no need to start screaming and yelling like a half crazed monkey, that internal power that you feel when you get angry can be channeled and focused. You can see this when a very strong leader is giving a speech and even though he becomes worked up, he is still able to focus that energy into his message. If you can manage to focus your anger in such a manner, you can use the power of your natural emotions not only to change yourself but to also change those around you.

By expressing your anger in appropriate ways, you let others know how strongly you feel about something. You let them know how intensely you feel about the situation and how important it is to you. Getting too angry to quickly can numb those people that you are trying to communicate with and this is not constructive in any kind of communication. If you do want to use your anger in a conscious manner, learn to measure your output in order to get the best results.

Be more natural and express yourself and your emotions more naturally. You will discover that if you express yourself more naturally in every situation, you will not suppress your natural self and you will become far more understood and respected by others. You will not feel so powerless and as a result you will not burst out in violent aggression that is usually the result of a feeling of complete powerlessness over a situation.

 

 

 

 

 

I believe that there are two types of work. There is the work that you have to do and then there’s the work that you personally want to do. With the first kind of work, the kind of work that you have to do, you are essentially made to perform in a certain fashion. For most of us this means a job; we are told when to show up, what to do, how to do it, and when we can stop. If we do not do satisfactory work, we are reprimanded and we are told how to do it properly. The first kind of job is sort of like going to school, you essentially function like a paid slave.

The second kind of work that you usually do is work that you want to do for yourself in the pursuit of your own personal interests. In this kind of work you do not have anyone telling you what to do or how to do it. Many find this to be a great thing and would love to be able to find some kind of way to turn this personal work into a career. The problem arises though when we realize that there will be no one telling us what to do when we are doing this second kind of work. No one will be pushing you to go to work at a certain time, no one will be telling you how to work, and no one will be pushing you to get a certain amount of work done in a certain amount of time.

The first kind of work requires a certain kind of discipline, the second kind of work requires a different kind of discipline. If you ever want to free yourself from the first kind of work then you must develop the kind of discipline needed in order to accomplish the second kind of work.

Here are a few points to help you to develop the discipline necessary to do the second kind of work:

  • Try to get over the I am going to do it all right now, kind of attitude. How this usually works is that you tell yourself that you’re going to do it all now, you motivate yourself to try and do it, and at the end you end up doing nothing because you believe that the workload is huge. What you need to do is to develop the ability to break up your tasks into smaller segments and to work on the segments over time. If you tell yourself that it’s an all or nothing thing, you will never accomplish anything because you will believe that the amount of work that you have to do is too much.
  • You will need to develop new ways to do your work. If you have constantly done the first kind of work, where others are telling you what and how to do it, then you will need to develop new ways to work. Find your own rhythm and your own working style, discover when you work best and in what way develop your own routine and style. Continually try new techniques in trying to accomplish your goals.
  • You must develop a more personally positive attitude. What this means is that in the second kind of work you will not have a boss either cheering you on or snapping the whip. This means that any time that you find yourself experiencing negativity, you have to be able to tell yourself that you can do it. You must be able to motivate yourself into action.
  • You can no longer afford to get yourself to do something because you feel guilty. This works great for the first kind of work environment but you can’t use guilt and fear on the second kind of work. Instead of trying to guilt yourself into action, it is much better to motivate yourself into action by visualizing all of the positive things that will come about as a result of you accomplishing your goals. Learn to visualize your actions and the positive consequence of your actions.
  • You will need to set deadlines for yourself. When you are working for yourself on your own things, you need to come up with deadlines yourself. You need to figure out your own personal timelines, how long it will take you to accomplish certain goals, and to try to fit yourself into this schedule. In the second kind of work you are the boss of yourself, be a good boss.
  • When you face problems and conflicts, you have to realize that these problems or conflicts are often within yourself. In the first kind of work it’s easy enough to complain and blame everything else on others. In the second kind of work you need to realize that whatever problem you face, it most likely has an internal source. You need to face this internal problem before you can overcome this obstacle. Essentially you need to take responsibility for your situation.
  • You need to be realistic about what you will be able to accomplish. It is no good to give yourself unrealistic goals because you will never accomplish these. Quite often people set unrealistic goals for themselves because deep down they know that they will not be able to accomplish them. They do this in order to give themselves a way out of difficult situations. Don’t do this, don’t make your goals unrealistic, you are far more capable than you realize.
  • Don’t compare what you have done or you are doing to what someone else has done or is doing. This is a sure way to get you to stop doing anything. It is good to use others as a guide so that you can understand what you need to do in order to function within a certain parameter, it is not good though to try and duplicate another person’s actions. Set your own standards and your own way of doing things, remember in the second kind of work you are free.
  • Don’t get down when you make a mistake. Swear a bit if you have to, but then get back to it. Mistakes are a way of finding out how to do things better. We all make mistakes that’s how we correct our course. Make a mistake, try to figure out a way around it, try something else, take action.

These are just some of the points that you need to consider if you’re doing the second kind of work. The second kind of work is the work that you do for yourself, the kind of work that you need to do in order to fulfill your dreams and expand your personal being. The second kind of work is what will make you free, and if you work at it you can make it a career so that instead of having to do a job that you don’t like, where others tell you what to do, you can create a career for yourself where working doesn’t feel like working at all. In order to do this you must realize that it will involve a different kind of personal discipline. This discipline comes down to taking responsibility for yourself and your actions.

 

 

 

 

 

We can all be clutter-bugs at times. We all tend to want to hoard things believing that we will eventually need whatever it is that we now have. Many people are also visual in nature, they remember and keep track of things by knowing where they are visually, this means that some of us are not just clutter bugs we also like to spread our mess everywhere. Being a clutter-bug is not necessarily a bad thing, but if it is starting to take over your life then you need to do something about it.

Whenever possible you need to ask yourself; can I find what I need? When the answer to the question becomes no, you need to start cutting back on the amount of stuff that you have and how you are organizing your space. This brings us to the related question that you must ask yourself; am I comfortable in my workspace? We all love our things and would like to organize things in our own natural way but there is a time when you must assess your environment or else all of your stuff will become a hindrance to you.

You must begin to take stock of all of the things that you have. You must always ask yourself whether the amount of things that you have is comfortable for you and if it is comfortable for the people around you. If you do live with others you must realize that all of your stuff might be getting in their way and this is not comfortable for anyone. There is a point in the life of any clutter hound when his or her stuff begins to directly impede the quality of their life, you must continually ask yourself whether your life is comfortable with all of the things that you have, the moment that you are no longer comfortable you must make a change. You must also be willing to make that change for anyone that you live with or else it can get to the point where you can alienate them so much that you will eventually be living alone. While some might say that without others around you will have more space for your stuff, I hope you realize that people in your life are far more rewarding than clutter and stuff.

No matter how much stuff you have you must always decide whether keeping this stuff is worth the cost. We tend to get things because we want things but their use is often times temporary. Things that are useful at one time become less useful in short order and before long we are holding to one gadget or another just because we can’t bear to part with it. This cost can be monetary, physical and even mental. Go through your stuff and ask yourself whether the cost of having this or that is worth the price.

Try not to waste your time and your energy on things that are just not worth it. Like I said we buy things because they tend to be useful or because we like them but this usefulness and this like changes over time. Constantly analyze your personal desires and needs and don’t be afraid to let go of things that you no longer have a use for, otherwise these things will just cost you precious energy that you could be using somewhere else.

It is possible that as you get rid of some of the things you will experience a sense of loss. Many of us get very attached to some of our old things and it becomes very difficult to let go of them after a while. But ask yourself; is this because they are truly important to you or is it because it has become a habit to have them around? When you can answer that honestly for yourself you will begin to discover what is truly important and what is just routine. After this sense of loss you will experience a sense of relief as you let go of those things that have become embedded in your life through habit. This sense of relief will far outweigh any sense of loss that you might have experienced before.

Getting rid of the clutter can also be as simple as just putting away any half finished projects that you have lying around. Making your own folders or some kind of personal filing system for these half finished projects is an incredible way to get rid of clutter. I personally do that with my computer, in that I create a file folder for all of my half finished projects or ideas. My computer has become a great clutter magnet and I’m sure that I’m not the only one with this problem. Learn to organize these old and half finished projects and you will be amazed at how much cleaner everything will look.

You can even make yourself a box of sorts so that you can put away any items in this box that are likely to create clutter in your space. As a kid most of us had our own toybox where we had to put away all our toys once we were done with them. This would be your adult version of the kids toybox and there is no need to feel any way weird about doing this. It is actually a very smart way to be able to work with your things in an open and spread out fashion and then be able to put them away when you don’t need them. In this way you can have a spreadout visual environment when you need it and a tidy one when you need that as well.

There are many of us that like to collect things. If you are collector and have a desire to collect things then you should continue doing what makes you feel good. Remember though that in order to appreciate the things that you have, you need to organize them so that you can view them better at your own leisure. If you are not a collector then I suggest that you stop collecting those things that you just don’t need any more. Make a conscious effort to not allow things to collect and pileup; or else there will be a time when those things will take over your life.

 

 

 

 

We all need to learn to listen better. The best way to be able to develop good relationships with others is to be able to listen and pay attention to what they have to say. Listening attentively shows respect and shows that you care about what the other person is saying, that this person is important enough and that what they have to say is worthy of scrutiny.

Many people have huge amounts of difficulty listening to others. It is quite often the case that they do not try to listen to understand, they are just waiting for the other person to stop talking so that they can speak next. This is a terrible thing to do because you are really not interacting with someone else you are just trying to outdo them. Don’t let your ego become so powerful and so self-important that it believes it has the right to ignore all others. When you are talking with someone else try to listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Try to listen to someone with the intent of understanding what they are trying to tell you. All communication is very complex and there is something going on both externally and internally. The only way that you will be able to understand that communication completely is by paying attention to what the other person is saying.

Often we believe that we are paying attention while others speak. We tell ourselves that we are good people and we are paying attention to others as we should. A good rule of thumb to use on yourself is to ask yourself if you remember what the other person said. If you can remember what others said it is a proof to others and to yourself that you were listening. If you cannot remember what other said then you must admit to yourself that what the other person was saying was not important enough for you to pay attention to it. This can have grave consequences in a relationship and it can make it very difficult for you to make a point of view because in order to make a point of view you have to be able to understand the other person’s perspective.

Listening is the fundamental fuel that builds relationships with others. By listening attentively and completely, you tune into the other person’s psyche and it becomes very easy to understand where they are coming from. If you are not listening to others, there is no trick that you can use to further a relationship with them. While it is a popular idea that certain tricks and techniques like ‘mirroring’ can help you to develop better relationships, that truth of the fact is that any external trick will fail in the long run when you are not respecting the other person by not listening or paying attention to them. Instead of trying some new and cool technique to try and develop the semblance of a good relationship, try to pay attention instead and to truly listen to the person that is before you.

Listening is an art. It is developed through your ability to focus on the other person and to make them a priority at that moment. You show this attentiveness to the other person through your body language and through your mental focus. You do not need to develop any special kind of body language in order to trick the person into believing that you are paying attention, all you need to do is to actually pay attention and your body will do the right things naturally. Learn to truly listen to other people and you will build strong relationships and through those strong relationships you will be able to get these new cohorts to do what you desire.

 

 

 

 

Truth is very essential thing for all of us. In one way or another we are all searching for truth. It is important to realize though that truth is a relative issue and that even though some would like to tell you that truth is an absolute thing, the reality of the situation is that everything is relative. This does not mean that truth does not exist, what it means is that truth is relative to each individual and that the only truth that you can rely on is your own personal truth.

Discovering your own personal truths is a very vital aspect of developing focus. The significance of focus is that it allows you to determine what is important and what is unimportant to you, and through this understanding you are able to focus your energies towards your most desired goals.

What personal truths do is that they give us clarity. This clarity allows us to see through the fog off all of the things that are before us, things that pileup because we are either flooded with great amounts of information or because we have not taken the time to try and find personal lucidity in the past.

In the modern world we do have a constant barrage of information that is continually being thrust upon us, the sheer amount of this information can sometimes dwindle our desire to try and clarify what we are seeing. If this is the case for you then it is very important that you do something to curtail the amount of information that your being exposed to so that you are able to find your personal truths. Personal simplification of life is what many advocate in order to rediscover your personal self. Getting back to the simple life though does not have to mean that you have to retire to the country, it can be as simple as turning off the television and paying more attention to your personal thoughts.

By diminishing the barrage of information that you are exposed to every day, you can begin to search for your own personal truths. By spending more time focusing on yourself and your thoughts and ideas, you can start the journey of self discovery. Personal truth is a discovery of your beliefs and your values, and by discovering these fundamental pillars of self, you can then begin to identify what is important to you. Finally this personal discovery will allow you to decide what your personal focus is.

You must continually review these personal truths so that you are always aware of your ever-changing personal focus. Truths are not relative only in the fact that they change through physical perspective, truths also change through time. What at one time was a great truth to you, can change dramatically as time progresses. We change in time, as does the world around us, as these changes happen what we believe to be true also changes. It is the natural consequence of an infinitely vibrant world. You must therefore continually seek personal clarification of your beliefs and ideas. In this way you can discover your changing perspectives.

Personal introspection is a continual thing that must be done in order to find our ever-changing focus. This focus must be honed through the continual questioning of motivation. The best way to discover this motivation is to asking yourself “why?” this is so and “what?” it entails and it involves. Questioning yourself in this manner is key to sharpening your focus, so that your actions become much more exacting and less wasteful. Highly honed focus means more successful action.

Intelligent action after all is the final result of personal discovery. By understanding our personal truth we discover our beliefs and our values. By understanding these we discover our motivation. By understanding our motivation we decide our focus. By honing this focus as much as possible we make sure that our energies and our actions are exacting and therefore incredibly successful. Through clarity and finely honed focus we perform successful action that gets us the results that we want.

 

 

 

 

Many believe that manners have gone out the window. As we look around it does become somewhat evident that few people treat each other pleasantly anymore. I think that there is a natural relation between the amount of people in any one place and the kind of courtesy that they used to treat each other with. I find it that the more crowded the environment the less likely that people are to be pleasant and to use good manners.

Manners are an incredibly powerful thing. Many write about the fact that you should learn persuasion or how you should learn to attain some kind of incredible rapport with others so that you can get them to do what you want. A very simple way to get others to be nice to you and to do things for you is to treat them in a pleasant way and to always have good manners. There is no need for this or that trick that sometimes can even make you feel a little shady or uncomfortable because you’re trying to pull off something that is not natural for you.

If you ask just about anyone, they will tell you that they seldom get thanked for what they are doing. It is amazing how a little thing like ‘thank you’, ‘please’, or even ‘I’m sorry’ can have any credibly large impact on another person. By remembering your manners and using them in all your dealings with other people, you will discover an amazing power to have others treat you with respect and courtesy. Even when you are mad and frustrated yourself, you can always manage to be polite and to practice good manners and courtesy. If you are able to do this even when you are facing antagonistic and difficult people, you will be able to put yourself in a superior position that will allow you to get your way more often than not.

Think about how often you really say ‘thank you’, or when the last time was that you said ‘please’ to anyone. It is also a good idea to find out for yourself when you use good manners naturally and when you don’t. For example some of us find it very easy to use good manners when we are talking to someone we like, but we find it far more difficult to use good manners when we are around someone we do not like. Ask yourself “why?”, commit to developing a courteous manner with everyone. If you commit yourself to using good manners in all situations, you will be incredibly surprised by the courtesy that you will start receiving from all others.

Do remember also that good manners are not just for others they are also a way to prove ourselves that we are worthy of respect ourselves. You don’t have to be happy and bubbly all the time, all you need to do is treat others with courtesy. Doing this you separate yourself from the average individual and you demonstrate that you are of good breeding and good education.

Try to get yourself into the habit of using good manners in all your future dealings. Try to create the feeling of courtesy in your actions towards others and develop a sense of fine and honest action. Even when you are treated rudely yourself, make sure that you never forget your own manners. In this way you will be able to get others to treat you in a better way or at least put yourself in a superior position where their rude behavior will essentially be beneath you. Try to make it a habit of using these phrases more and more during your day. Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

Self-esteem is the prerequisite to self-confidence and to greater and better personal accomplishment. It is something that you must always work towards developing within yourself because it is the great resource that creates fine accomplishment. Self-esteem is also responsible for your internal happiness and is the one thing that can help you begin to truly enjoy your life. It is seldom the case that we all naturally feel great self-esteem, it is usually something that most of us have to work at.

In order to develop your self-esteem, begin to attack those prejudices which might lead you to undervalue who you are. These prejudices are beliefs that we hold about ourselves. Many times we believe that these beliefs are unquestionable and we therefore turn these beliefs into concrete facts that we cannot change. The reality of the situation though is that these beliefs are interchangeable and that there is no belief that is bedrock fact, there are only beliefs that you will not question. It is critical then that you question these beliefs that would have you believe that you are a lesser person.

In order to develop your self-esteem you must also learn to stifle that inner critic. That inner critic is that little voice or that feeling that you have that tells you that you are not special. It usually questions everything that you do and tells you that you are not capable. This critic is the end result of those beliefs that you have about yourself, those beliefs that are telling you that you are a lesser person. By questioning your beliefs you begin to stifle this inner critic. Whenever this inner critic begins its rhetoric, try to question what it’s trying to tell you. For example if your inner critic tells you that you are not good enough, ask yourself why you believe that you are not good enough. Using your inner critic as an ally you will discover those negative beliefs that you have. With this realization you should find it easier to change these beliefs and to replace those ‘supposed’ facts with a belief about yourself that is far more empowering.

People with low self-esteem tend to have a double standard; they tend to judge themselves unfairly while they give others great leeway. Because of their low self-esteem they tend to think that everything that they do is wrong while others seem to have a free pass. Many do not even realize that they’re doing this but it does contribute to their low self-esteem and it confirms those beliefs that they have about themselves. Pay attention next time that you are dealing with others and see if you are treating them and yourself differently. Do you have a double standard?

Whenever you do anything in life you should always try to do the best that you can. As long as you are doing this you should not feel bad about your actions or about your results. Try not to berate yourself for not being perfect because perfection is a lie. Those with beliefs that create low self-esteem tend to believe that they can do nothing right and therefore find it impossible to find the perfection that they seek. By questioning your beliefs you should be able to realize that many of the standards that you hold yourself to are quite unrealistic. There is no such thing as perfection because everything is always in a state of becoming more. While you might think that doing something exactly like someone else, perhaps an expert in the field, might be perfection; the reality of the fact is that perfection is not possible in that way because it is impossible for you to do anything exactly like someone else. The reason for this is that you are not that person and every person has different capabilities. You should use the standards of experts as reference but you should always realize that you need to do things in your own way and by doing things in your own way you will never achieve perfect duplication of their actions. Greater self-esteem should allow you to realize that you need to do things your own way.

As you begin to question your beliefs about low self-esteem you might realize that you are spending an awful lot of time with people that are bringing you down. Always try to spend more time with people that make you feel good. Those with low self-esteem tend to naturally gravitate towards those people that would confirm their beliefs about themselves. Usually these people are negative and tend to treat you in a negative way. Begin by changing these negative beliefs and also try to let go of those people from your past that are bringing you down. Try to find and spend more time with those that bring you joy and happiness. Spend more time with those that empower you instead of making you feel like you are nothing.

As you can see, self-esteem is definitely something that most of us need to work at. By understanding this fact and realizing that most likely low self-esteem is directly related to what you believe about yourself, you can begin to pull yourself out of this quagmire and start to develop more positive beliefs about yourself.

 

Personal discipline is important in everything that we do in life. You can come up with the best ideas but these ideas will be forever outside of your realm until you develop the discipline to create them. Discipline is what allows us to take action in areas that we find difficult.

Discipline allows us to become creators, it allows us to bring to life our greatest ideas and vision. While many see discipline is a type of endurance under stress, true discipline is really great personal understanding. Many would tell you that life is either ‘the pain of discipline or the pain of regret’ and try to motivate themselves into difficult action by increasing the amount of pain of inaction.

Discipline should actually be seen as the fine art of personal understanding. What I mean by this is that in order to do anything that you find difficult, you must find a way to make it less difficult. Now this might sound a little trite but I’m being quite serious, true discipline comes from being able to motivate yourself in the right way. This motivation can come in two ways:

1. You can fool yourself into doing just about anything. By pretending that you want to do something or that something is incredibly easy, you can get yourself to do things that you would never be able to do without this pretense. This kind of pretending that I speak of is actually quite easy, children do it all the time when they pretend that they are this or that character or when they pretend that they are being attacked by some giant monster from outer space.
Next time that you need to do something that you don’t want to do, try pretending that you need to do it because it’s a life or death situation. Try pretending that you actually love doing it. Pretend like a child that you are being attacked by space aliens and if you don’t get this done you are going to get eaten alive. Sure you believe that I’m kidding and that this is some kind of joke, this is not the case; try it, try coming up with incredibly inventive ways to get yourself to do just about anything. If you have to do a menial task that you find quite difficult, pretend that you are a robot and that this is what you are being programmed to do at the moment. Play, use your imagination to essentially fool yourself into making any difficult task easy and fun.

2. Real discipline is created by understanding yourself perfectly. By discovering who you are and what you believe, you understand why you are here and why you are doing what you are doing now. Understanding your personal beliefs you begin to realize the reasons for even your smallest of actions or tasks. Doing your exercise routine becomes infinitely easier because you understand yourself and your motivations for those actions. If you can understand the fact that you are exercising because you believe that you are getting too chubby and that you believe that you need to become healthier, to live longer, you understand perfectly the reasons for your actions. Understanding why you are doing what you are doing, your motivation becomes your deep understanding of self. Discipline then becomes the act of personal self expansion, it is no longer a type of self masochism.

If you look about you will discover that you will not find a person that has found true happiness that has not also been able to develop great discipline. Great personal success is created through discipline. Some of these successful people are able to get themselves to go through the pain of difficult action and do those things that they do not want to do. The truly successful though are those that are able to understand discipline in a new way and are able to create for themselves a plan of action that is not fundamentally masochistic. Some of these truly successful people have discovered the power of their imaginative mind and of their ability to play even with their own awareness. Some of these truly successful people have discovered that they cannot classify discipline as intense willpower, but that for them, discipline is the ability to discover who they truly are and to walk easily in the direction of their self expansion.

 

 

 

 

 

Many of us have habits that we would like to stop. Over time we tend to develop habits that we consider to be bad and as we recognize these as hurtful habits, we often commit to stop them. Many find that stopping these negative or bad habits can be very difficult. Always remember though that a habit is really just a routine and a routine can always be replaced by another one.

In order to try and change this old routine, make the decision right now that you are going to change. Do not be halfhearted about it, truly commit yourself to this desire for change. You do this by first discovering your desire for change and then by consciously telling yourself that you will change. Some find it a good idea to even tell a friend that they intend to make this change, and in this way they create a situation where they must ‘stand up or shut’ up as it were.

In order to change a habit you must study this particular habit that you have. A habit like I said is a routine and a routine is a very robotic action. What this means is that any routine has a way of starting, a way of developing, and a way of ending. Routines also usually have triggers that excite them into action, once these triggers are set the routine takes over and action is performed in a robotic like state where you are not even aware of some of the things that you are doing. You must therefore begin by studying this routine so that you discover what triggers it and what develops into the powerful thing that it has become. You do this by paying attention to yourself and your feelings as you go about your day, discovering how you feel and what you are doing just before you start this negative habit or routine. Begin to map out this routine in a concise way, with this information you will find that breaking this habit will be much easier.

Once you have mapped out how this routine starts and how it develops, try to develop a strategy to stop it. The best way to break a routine is to stop it just as it’s about to begin. By studying this habit of yours and understanding what triggers it, you can be prepared with an alternative routine that should be able to neutralize the initial one. Your strategy then is to first identify the starting trigger of the bad routine and then to come up with an alternative routine that allows you to break this robotic action before it starts.

A bad routine or habit can be easily neutralized by finding something else to do instead. Try to come up with a routine that is just as enjoyable to you but that is far more constructive and positive. Now you might be saying to yourself that there’s nothing more positive or enjoyable to you personally then having a good smoke, but you must realize though that most of this good feeling comes from the comfort of engaging in a routine that you might have been doing for years. You can re-pattern yourself and you can make a new routine just as comfortable and as enjoyable as the old one. This enjoyment will be developed over time and if you are able to maintain this routine for the number of years that you have been smoking for example, you will find that this new routine will be just as enjoyable to you as the old one.

It will take a while for you to re-pattern your mind. You literally need to re-pattern your neural network and create a whole new set of neural connections. These connections need to be developed over time by performing the new and positive routine over and over and over again. In this way the new neural structure becomes stronger and thicker. It will therefore take conscious effort at first for you to go from one old routine to a new one. This means that you will need to stay focused on the trigger that sets up the old routine and replace that routine with the habit you want. This action will need to be maintained for a while and it is up to you to keep this momentum going.

If you have done your homework, have planned the cause of your negative routine, and have also created a strategy to overcome this routine with a new more positive one, I am certain that you will find success in overcoming any bad habit. It is possible though that you might fail in your efforts, if this is the case you must not give up on yourself and you must always keep trying until you get what you want. Bad habits can be very debilitating but you can change them if you understand that they are just routines that have never been questioned.