Many often wonder what the greatest key to success is. The truth is that successful people in any field, people who get ahead in life, are constantly challenging themselves to trying new things. The one key factor of success is growth. If you want to be a more successful person, in whatever endeavor you wish to pursue, you have to be courageous enough to push yourself to grow as much as possible.

If we are not growing, then we are staying in the same place without change. Without change we cannot develop and increase our skill and ability. Without this increase in ability, there is no possible way of becoming better at anything. In other words, without growth there is no increase in ability and without this increase in ability you will always be stuck in mediocrity.

Growth comes when you take a chance and try something new. Growth comes when you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone and try something completely different, or perhaps do something that you have always done but in a completely different way. It is very rare to do anything perfectly the first time that you try, but it is because of all the mistakes, that you will develop new skills and abilities.

Never be afraid to try something different. Trying something new means that you’re willing to put yourself in a difficult position so that you can learn and experience new things. Try to see whatever mistakes you make as a learning experience, as an opportunity to become even more capable. When you try new things you will feel uncomfortable. If you can become comfortable being uncomfortable then the sky is the limit and your potential for growth is endless.

You will notice that the only people that really get ahead in life are the people that are constantly challenging themselves. They seem to know that true success only comes from moving forward and stretching themselves and their abilities. Truly successful people even seem to have the goal of trying to be a little uncomfortable on a regular basis. Great entrepreneurs for example will always push themselves to go beyond the competition and to offer more than anyone else has offered before. The great leaders of any field are always the ones that are willing to try new things, to push the boundaries of what is perceived to be possible.

When you are out on the edge, you are all alone. Being alone can be very scary especially when you realize that there’s no one there to catch you if you fail. But there is also great freedom on the edge because there’s no one there to tell you what to do. Push yourself to feel a little uncomfortable every day so that you too can push the boundaries of your possibilities and experience. See this discomfort as freedom and in this way you will be able to experience joy where others might only see tribulation.

The secret to great success then is discomfort, because it is discomfort that will push you to grow and to develop yourself. Discomfort is also the gauge which you must use to measure your potential for growth; if you are not comfortable then you know that you have pushed yourself into personally uncharted territory. Freedom and power can be found at this outer edge but there is loneliness there as well, and sometimes even a little fear. Dare to push yourself beyond your limits and experience the delight of feeling alive and free in the world. Those that can push themselves beyond their limits, will find success and joy in a life well lived. Those that cannot push themselves beyond their limits, will only find stagnation and complacency.

Emotions can be incredibly debilitating if we do not have a way of dealing with them. Emotions that we consider negative such as; anger, fear, sadness, can destroy our ability to act in a logical and coherent manner if we let these emotions go unchecked. Emotions can cloud our better judgment and can affect our ability to perform even simple tasks correctly.

I have mentioned in other articles that you should deal with these emotions by finding out the beliefs that are causing them. I believe that the best way to deal with any kind of negativity is through the study of personal belief systems. That by being able to discover what it is that you are believing about a certain sitiation, you can discover why you are feeling the way you are feeling at the moment. This is the only way to be able to stop negativity completely and I show you how to go about doing this in this article…

There are times though when we are out and about and cannot just stop in the middle of whatever we are doing to question our belief systems. Negativity can be stopped over time by discovering your beliefs, but what do you do in the meantime? What do you do when you’re being assaulted by emotions that are completely crippling your ability to act and think properly?

Well there are ways that you can deal with these emotions. There are ways to stop them so that you are able to continue in a productive manner. You can call it the fine art of ‘Vulcanism’; this is in reference to Vulcans who are a race of alien beings in Star Trek that can completely control their emotions.

1. The first method that I would like to discuss and present to you, which I have not talked about very much in the past, is the technique of the Here & Now. How this technique works is that you stop any emotion by completely focusing on the Here & Now. This is fundamentally a Zen Buddhism concept; it basically says that the mind is the cause of all negativity and emotional unrest, that the mind exists in the future and in the past but that it is completely absent in the present moment.

If you pay attention to your thought process, you will quite quickly realize that this thought process is usually lost in future scenarios or in past events. By focusing your mind on this present moment, you are able to stop that mental dialogue that never seems to rest. If you take a moment now to look about you, to see the things in the room before you, to hear the sounds that are now perceivable to you, you will be able to understand what is meant by focusing your mind on the present moment. By focusing more and more on this present reality that is all about you, you increase the power of the Here & Now.

Existing in this present moment takes a lot of personal focus and discipline. The mind, because it has been given so much free reign, will very quickly take off into the future or the past. It takes a lot of discipline on your part therefore to try and stay focused on this present moment and not to deviate. But you do not need to become an instant Zen master, all you need to do is to remember that if you ever find yourself in an emotionally crippling situation, what you need to do is to focus your mind as completely as possible on the Here & Now. If you can do this, then your mind will not be able to wander into a terrible past or a horrible future. By being completely focused on the present moment, you will forget about whatever might have happened in the past and will not worry about whatever might happen in the future. I this way your emotional state will be quelled,  and you will be able to attain a very powerful unemotional state.

2. Another method to be able to stop those negative and crippling emotions when they present themselves is to learn to relax. It is impossible to be able to feel anything, other than joy and comfort, if your body is completely relaxed. Any emotion, especially the negative ones, create a tension in the body as a person’s electromagnetic energy increases. Tension increases electromagnetic energy, tension also traps electromagnetic energy in the body like a kink in a hose, if there is no tension then there is no possibility of emotional escalation because it is this energy that is needed to feel emotion.

If you can completely relax your body then you will be able to control all emotion. Next time that you have some kind of emotional situation, try to pay attention to how your body feels. Try to notice where your body is tense and how strong that tension is. You will notice that any emotion, aside from joyous complacency, will cause a tension in your body that you will be able to feel.

You can will yourself to relax this tension if you are vigilant and can identify what part of your body becomes tense; use your will to relax this tension. If you are not able to maintain this level of focus and intention yet, a great way to relax this body tension is to focus on your exhalation. Next time that you feel a debilitating emotion, take a deep breath and hold that breath for a couple of seconds and then exhale in a quiet sigh. That exhalation should be done by completely relaxing the body and letting the exhalation happen by itself. As you inhale try to tense every single muscle of your body, hold that inhalation/tension for 2 to 5 seconds, and then completely relax your body. As your body relaxes completely, let that exhale come out on its own without any effort on your part all. If you do this correctly, you will feel a wonderful sense of relaxation as your blood pressure lowers. Your body will relax completely and any kink will be released, the energy accumulated in this tension will be released and all emotion will be washed away. Do this relaxing breath as often as you need to.

With these two methods you should be able to stop any emotion that you feel. In this way you can even control what kind of emotions you want to feel, but this is something that I don’t actually recommend since I do believe that negative emotions have a place and a reason. You can for example let yourself feel all the positive emotions in your life but completely cut out all the negative ones with the above two techniques.
This though would not be something that would be good for you in the long run. Negative emotions are usually signals that we are unhappy with a situation; the reason for this is always a belief that we have that relates to this situation. If you do not express these emotions, you will not be able to discover the reasons for these emotions. If you cannot discover the reasons for these emotions then you will not be able to grow spiritually and objectively. Negative emotions are a catalyst for change, they feel unpleasant because they are trying to tell us that that we need to change something now. Without the energy that they provide, we will not have the impetus or mental focus to be able to search out that problem and to change it.

Use the above to techniques when you need to control crippling emotions that are not allowing you to perform correctly at the moment, but don’t define these emotions as evil or unconstructive. Sometimes emotions are part of our intuition and they can help us to discover things that we are having trouble understanding logically. For example it could be that you might want to work with a certain person but that you feel something negative whenever you are close to that person. This could be your intuition telling you that this person should not be trusted. Its ok to not feel happy and loving all the time.
It is also the case sometimes that emotions cloud or judgments and we trust people that we shouldn’t because somehow they have been able to tug at our heartstrings. My advice to you is to first feel those emotions and then to turn them off to see if there’s any difference in your judgment from one perspective to the other. It will be then up to you to learn to recognize the difference between intuitive feeling and overzealous emotion. Trust in your being, trust in the power of your whole self.

With control comes power. Hopefully with the two techniques above you will be able to empower yourself to control your emotions when you have to and to be able to feel them and express them when you think you need to. To permanently stop any negativity that you feel, and to be able to understand your greater being, you will need to discover the belief systems that are causing all your emotions. Use the above to techniques wisely to control your emotions consciously.

There is nothing more powerful in sustaining a relationship then to acknowledge the other person’s feelings. A relationship does not necessarily mean a relationship between lovers; a relationship can happen any time that you are engaging in any kind of communication with someone else. Even a small conversation with a clerk at a grocery store is a relationship and this relationship can greatly benefit by having you acknowledge the other persons feelings and subjective state.

In an earlier article I discussed the importance of empathy. I told you there that empathy can actually be a very powerful way to become more flexible and dynamic yourself. If you have read this article, “Empathy, the most important skill of the 21st century“, and you would like to know the benefits of this ability in a more concrete fashion, then you might be interested in contemplating the points below. Through empathy you will be able to subjectively feel and understand the other persons reality. You will be able to feel their feelings and you will be able to understand some of their thought process. This can be a great advantage for you if there is something that you want from the other person.

It is the case that any relationship involves the desire or the need to get something from the other individual. You should not see this in any negative way, a politically correct establishment would have you believe that you should always do everything selflessly and that doing something because you want something is a type of the evil. But this is not how the world works. We are all here to help each other and every interaction, even the interaction with the environment around you, is an interaction of mutual cooperation. You cannot exist without the cooperation of everything and everyone around you, and they in turn cannot exist without your help.

Those that do not believe in this cooperative interrelation, believe themselves to be lone individuals apart from all others, struggling to survive in infinitely competitive environment. This is not the case, if it were the case then this world would be a hell that would be impossible to maintain. Our world is maintained, created and supported because of the constant cooperation between every single individual part of it. A relationship is based on mutual cooperation whether this mutual cooperation is perceived or not. When you interact with anyone, you want something from them and they want something from you. A politically correct world would tell you that this is mutual selfishness but this is actually group cooperation at its best. The failure is one of perception, where people are able to, for the most part, only see their own perspective and nothing else.

If you can realize that you are in a cooperative environment, that it is good and natural for you to want something because in this way you are helping yourself and the other person at the same time, then you will be able to participate in mutual cooperation in a more natural and less guilt driven way. By developing your empathy, you will be able to discover what you want and what the other person wants from any mutual interaction, and in this way easily come up with a solution that is of benefit to you both.

When you can truly empathize with the other person, make sure that you acknowledge the other person’s feelings. By doing so you will let the other person know that you understand where they are coming from. That you understand what they are feeling and wanting from this situation. You will let the other person know, by acknowledging their feelings, that you see him or her as a real person that deserves your respect. By acknowledging the other person’s feelings you create a sense of mutual respect which will make mutual cooperation easy and inevitable.

As you acknowledge the other person’s feelings, express your own feelings and desires as well. You can do this verbally or through body language, just make sure that the other person understands where you are coming from yourself. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings and express your own, and then go about finding a solution that is beneficial to both of you. There is no need to pretend to feel something that you do not in order to try and get your way. Through honest empathic engagement, you can begin to experience a relationship with others that will be far more beneficial to you both in every way.

I have mentioned on a number of occasions that empathy is one of the most important skills that you can have in life. I would dare say that empathy is the one skill that has the ability to take humanity into the next level of awareness. Empathy, once you have become proficient at it, will be a catalyst that will completely change the way that you interact with others.

Empathy can be a great advantage when you have to interact with others. It is very important for example that you always acknowledge the feelings that another person is having at the moment. There are many books and groups out there advocating some kind of social rapport, their final outcome being some kind of persuasive skill where you are able to get your way. They tell you about all sorts of tricks and techniques that you can do to make it seem like you are indeed in the exact same subjective place as the person that you are trying to persuade. How about if instead of trying to get one over on a person by making it seem like you understand what the person is feeling, that you actually learn how to empathize with that person and to truly see and feel where that other person is coming from?

It can be a very scary thing, for the ego, to try and empathize with another person. The ego feels like it might lose itself or that it might lose out because then the other person will have control over it. Through its limited understanding, the ego believes that it cannot possibly be able to see both its own personal perspective and the perspective of someone else. It believes that it will be lost if it empathizes too much with someone else, that it will lose its perspective and will therefore be at the mercy of the other person. This belief can scare you to the point that you will never be able to identify with the feelings and thoughts of the people around you.

The ego is not wrong or evil, it is just trying to help you by doing what it believes it has to do to be able to put you in a superior position. You can think of the ego as a small part of yourself that has been given the task of dealing with this objective reality in the best way possible. For thousands of years of human interaction, the ego has discovered some hard but strategically powerful methods to deal with the incredibly competitive aspects of reality. The ego will do what it has always done, which is to do its best to make sure that you survive in the best way possible.

But the ego can evolve if you let it. By understanding that the ego is a small part of you and not the whole, you can begin to grasp your ability to be able to use your ego in a more expansive way. By discovering the limitations of the ego, you will be able to see outside of it in order to realize a broader view. You can see past any egotistical view and discover a more holistic understanding of the things that are happening before you. By being able to see things beyond your ego, you can begin to train your ego to be more aware and more capable; this is the most important skill that you can develop in the 21st century.

If the larger part of you can realize that it can see its own personal perspective and also completely empathize with the subjective feelings of another person, then this realization can allow the ego to learn new things. If you can make these realization yourself, you can slowly train your ego to understand the fact that it will not be eradicated or overcome when it is able to empathize completely with the subjective reality of another person. Your ego then will start to become far more capable and flexible. This perceptive increase by the ego will allow you to have a far greater range of possibilities which can increase your success. In other words by expanding the range of the ego you are actually doing exactly what the ego wants; which is to become a more successful survivor.

When the ego has expended in this way, you can begin to empathize with another and see that person’s perspective and yours at the same time. Your ego will not be threatened, it will not shut down or try to block any perceptive feelings on your part. Without this interference by the ego, your perceptive abilities will increase and this increase in awareness will expand you as a spiritual person and as an objective being trying to survive in a three dimensional reality.

To empathize with someone else you have to essentially put yourself in that other person’s shoes. The best way to begin to do this is to imaginatively project a part of yourself into the other person and then allow yourself to experience what they are feeling. You might want to pretend that a part of you goes into that other person and that you enter that other person so that instead of you having one body, you now have two bodies which you can perceive from.

If you have worked on your ego, then it will be quite easy for you to be able to perceive what that person is perceiving and feeling, and to also be able to stay centered where you are. You will realize that you can either see completely from their perspective, only from your perspective, or from your perspective and their perspective at the same time. You will not fear losing yourself, of being overcome by the other persons feelings and will. You will not even be scared of any terrible negativity or pain that other person might be feeling because your ego will realize that even though it is empathizing with that other person, it is still itself intact. You can then let go of this empathic grasp at any time and not feel like you have to put up with feelings that you do not want to feel at the moment.

Instead of trying to develop some technique where you pretend or act as if you are in rapport with what the person before you is feeling; how about if you learn instead to empathize for real? How about if instead of trying to put one over on the other person, by acting like you really care about what they feel, you actually truly experience what they feel? How about if you become truthful instead of trying to deceive yourself and the other person? You can become far more than you might currently be letting yourself become. Learn to empathize with others and you will learn to help yourself and them simultaneously.

One of the most difficult aspects of getting anything done is getting started. Procrastination can be a very difficult obstacle to overcome and unless you discover ways to overcome this inertia, you will never begin any worthwhile project. Okay, so we have decided on what our goals are and we have made a list of all the things that we want to do, but how do we get started on this list and overcome this very difficult first obstacle?

It is always a good idea to begin by identifying some of the things that will present themselves as different aspects of procrastination. One of the most insidious allies of procrastination is called ‘busywork’. Busywork is basically work that you think you need to do but that really is a way to avoid doing what you should be doing. I for example love to engage in tidying around the house and my desk whenever I contemplate doing something that I’m not too excited about. For example whenever I’m about to engage in a big writing project, and I am not as excited as I should be about this project, I tend to find all sorts of things that I should be tidying up. Make sure that you do not get stuck doing busy work or else you will delay or completely stall any attempt to get going on a project.
Avoid busy work by creating  schedules for yourself. By scheduling a starting time for your work, you give yourself that extra ‘oomph’ that you might need to start your work on time.

Another evil little ally of procrastination is the inability to focus on the project that you want to accomplish. How this obstacle presents itself is that it acts like a little voice in the back of your head, telling you that you are focusing on the wrong thing and that you are limiting yourself to other possibilities. Focusing can be difficult because it means that you are eliminating other possible choices and accepting limitations. If you listen to that voice that is telling you that you are limiting yourself by focusing on getting something done, you will never get started on anything because you will think that you are wasting your time and making a mistake. You are basically creating a way to waste your time by endlessly contemplating the idea that you are wasting your time. That is a genius way to get yourself to not do anything ever at all!
If this little voice comes up, then accept the fact that you need to deal with it. Take the time to logically write down the reasons why you need to accomplish the project at hand. To that list add a list of the consequences of not accomplishing your goal. Examine this list and logically conclude on the reasons why you need to get this task accomplished ASAP. Never ignore this little voice, it could be trying to tell you something important that your conscious mind might have missed.

Perhaps one of the most powerful allies of procrastination is the fear of imperfection. Quite often we will not begin anything because we are so fearful that we will not be able to perform in the way that we think we can. If we think that by trying to do something we will discover that we are not quite as good as we thought we were, then we will do anything to avoid doing that one thing.
As a true dreamer myself, I have huge amounts of self-delusion about my own ability. It is quite often very difficult for me to begin some things because a little voice inside my head is telling me that if I attempt this I will discover just how ineffective and inadequate I really am. Don’t let this ally of procrastination hold you back, remember that it is far more important to be productive then to be perfect. Let go of yourself importance, the only way to be able to get better at something is by doing. Screwing up is just an gage that is showing you a better way to do something next time.

If you are ever having problems beginning any one thing try asking yourself the following questions:

Is my priority for accomplishing these goals too low? Honestly question yourself about how important the goal that you are trying to attempt is. If it is low priority, are there other things that you could be doing instead? If it is high priority, are you clear in your own mind how important this goal is?

Are there things in this project that I’m not clear about? Is it the case that there are things that you do not know or that you are not completely clear about? If you’re not clear or if there are apprehensions because you don’t know something, you can prevent any initial action on your part.

Have you scheduled the time for this goal? In order to do anything you need to schedule the time to do it. If you say you’re going to do anything but you cannot schedule a certain time to do this thing then you will never get started on the project because it will always be on the to do list sometime in the future.

Do you feel overloaded? Does this task that you want to accomplish feel like it’s way too much? Is it possible that you are doing too much already and that beginning a new task just seems like you are trying to take on too much? Make sure that you take the time to clearly define your time schedule so that you do not feel like you are doing too much at any one time. This definition can also help you to begin difficult projects because it will logically allow your mind to see that this new goal is doable.

Are you scared? This might seem like a funny question but there are times when we are scared that we might actually succeed or fail in that task that we are going to attempt. This fear is a good friend that might be trying to tell you that there are certain unconsidered ideas about the task or goal that you are about to engage in. There are times we find it incredibly difficult to begin something because we actually don’t want to get that one thing done. If you are fearful about this task that you are about to begin in any way, find out for yourself if there is a reason why you don’t actually want to accomplish it.

You overcome many of the obstacles above by consciously questioning what they are bringing to light. Through this conscious questioning you come up with your own reasoning, that will nullify the power of the allies of procrastination. It might seem like a lot of questioning before you begin any one project, but in a short period of time you will discover that you will not have to question yourself or your motives very much and that your procrastination will be a thing of the past. Think of procrastination as a friend that is trying to make sure that you have ‘covered all your bases’ before you start any project.

One of the biggest concerns that you might have about negativity is that you might believe that it is completely out of your control.  That these negative thoughts and impulses might seem to come at random times and happen for no good reason.  You might believe that you are helpless and powerless, that you cannot change the tide of this debilitating energy.

This is not the case.  You can find out why you are having these negative thoughts.  It is possible for anyone to find the source of this negative self-talk and overcome it.  I was able to get rid of a of most of the useless negativity that I experience by using the technique below, this is a continuing process and a life work for all of us. What is required is that you question these negative thoughts and find out the source of their energy.  This source is usually a negative belief about the state of things in your life or in life in general.

A good way to be able to question these negative thoughts, is to close your eyes and wait for the first negative impulse or thought that you have.  If you are having trouble getting in touch with the negative self-talk, contemplate an area of your life that you are not happy with. Contemplate your monetary situation if you are having troubles in this area, or your relationships if you are having trouble finding a compatible mate. Contemplating in this way should get the negative self-talk juices flowing.

I like using this method because it allows you to question this negative self-talk on your own time and under your control.  Otherwise the only other method possible is too wait and be vigilant throughout the day so that you can catch yourself in the middle of these negative thoughts and question them then.  This can be difficult because this kind of personal questioning requires time and focus which you might not have at your disposal when you are engaged in taking care of your daily affairs. I  suggest that you find a quiet place when you have plenty of time and question your negative self- talk then.

So to do this, in this quiet place, close your eyes and wait for a negative thought as you contemplate a difficult area of your life.  It’s weird but by trying to encourage this negativity, you will make it actually more difficult for this negativity to show itself.  Indeed this is actually a good way for you to close off this negative self-talk when you need to; the more that you want it to happen, the less it is likely to happen, it is sort of like reversed ‘Murphy’s law’.

When you do have these negative thoughts then, identify them as best you can. It is a good idea to keep track of how you are feeling; if you feel sad, angry or depressed, it is quite likely that you are engaging in negative self-talk.  Stop your train of thought for a moment and try and determine the exact nature and the syntax of this negative self-talk.  For example it is possible that you might say something like, “I hate…” , “I’m scared of…” “This sucks”, or “I can’t…”.  Try and be a specific as possible in identifying what this negativity is all about. If for example you hate something, what do you hate specifically. If you feel a negative emotion when you contemplate something, try to find out what exactly is creating that negative emotion; Identify the underlying cause of your negativity.

When you have done this, ask yourself “why?”.  Basically determine why you hate whatever you hate or why this sucks, why you fear what you fear or why you think you can’t do something.  The answer might be obvious or then again it might not.  What you wish to know is basically why you believe that this or that sucks, so that you can clarify this feeling as much as possible. The funny thing about beginning to question these beliefs is that it will seem at first like the answers are quite obvious. “ Life sucks because there are jerks everywhere!” ”Duh!” It is terribly important that you realize right there that this is a belief that you hold, it is NOT fact. You make it fact by believing it and not questioning it.

The next step is just to keep asking yourself ‘why?’.  For example you could ask yourself, “Why do I believe that this sucks?”.  Doing this you follow a line of progression where you first identify this negative belief, clarify it, and then pursue its logic.  This way you are able to see if there is good reason and truthful cause for what you are feeling and believing.  The idea then is to continue with this process of asking ‘why’ until you are completely clear about your belief on this subject.

Your beliefs will indeed surprise you when to begin to study them. The truly surprising part about them is that they seem so utterly obvious. That is, most people would tell you that this sucks for example because it, well sucks! If you are an average person then your logic agrees with the logic of most of people around you. So in big issues you will most likely not like something because it is illogical to you to like it and it is illogical for most of the people around you to like it as well. For example you might think that it sucks to wait in line for something, and you might think that it is quite obvious that everyone should hate to wait in line as well, but this is a belief, and a generally accepted one for the most part. But, believe it or not, there are some fringe personalities out there that really like waiting in line, which means that they have a different belief about this activity which you would not share, if you hate waiting in line.

All beliefs can be questioned because all truth is just unquestioned belief. Just because everyone else believes that it is true, it does not mean that it is true. It might mean that most people accept this belief now, but it can also mean that all those people have not questioned their beliefs and therefore just accept this belief without question. Just because something is true for everyone, it does not mean that it has to be true for you. Most external perception, perhaps all, is a result of what you let yourself believe; it has taken me a lifetime of work to realize this. Once you can understand the authenticity of this yourself, you can begin to truly change any negativity that you do not like in your life. You can also finally begin to create your own personal reality.

Once this identification is complete you can decide whether you wish to keep this belief or whether you wish to change it.  It is quite possible that this negative belief, which causes these negative feelings and self-talk, has a just purpose.  It is also possible that these feelings and therefore beliefs are based on faulty logic or past situations which have now changed.  It is up to you to decide if this is the case, and then it is up to you to change it if you believe you need to. Negativity is not negative, as many would like you to believe. Any kind of negativity is just a type of warning that is letting you know that you are not happy with a situation and that you should take some kind of action to change it. Negativity, when it is understood for what it is, is a powerful tool that can be as constructive for your personal self as positivity. While it might not be a good idea to walk around in a negative and depressed state all the time, it is far better for you to express these feelings and emotions when you have them than to try and suppress them and replace them with forced and artificial. Without negativity there is no positivity, each balances the other out and is the impetus that cycles the other around an eddy that is  but one facet of your personality.

To change this belief, that is causing negativity from you in one way or another, you need to remind yourself that this belief is faulty. Faulty not because negativity is wrong per se but because it is an emotion and a perspective that you do not want to experience any more. You need to remember the self-reflection that you did and that with this self-reflection you discovered that this belief is not working for you at this time.

Changing a belief requires you to understand logically that it was a belief on your part that was causing any negativity. You must then realize that this belief is not truth but that it is only a belief that you hold at this moment. After personal contemplation you must discover for yourself that this belief is no longer applicable for one reason or another in your life. With these personal realization’s, it becomes very easy for you to insert a belief that is far more constructive and that will stop any negativity in the future around this situation. For example instead of saying,  “life sucks”, you could tell yourself , “I believe that I have potential and that I can do whatever I truly focus myself to doing “.

Every time that you find yourself thinking that life sucks, tell yourself that you believe that you have potential and that you can do whatever you focus your mind on. Tell yourself in a very conscious manner that you no longer believe that you are in a dead-end place, that this old belief is a belief that you no longer hold. That you now believe that you have great potential if you just let yourself focus on what you want. In this way you change your life consciously by facing the beliefs that are causing any negativity and replacing these with ones that are more constructive for you personally. Changing a belief in this way will allow you to see possibilities that you could not see before and it will give you the confidence to try new things.

With the ‘life sucks’ scenario I used a small example that I think you might be able to follow, one that I have felt myself in the past; the feeling of a lot of negative emotion because you think that life sucks, but that these feelings are just the end results of a belief that you are in a dead-end place and that you are not going anywhere. There are so many variables and there’s so much difference between you, me and anyone else that you see, that personal causes for negativity can be endless. Follow your own beliefs by asking yourself ‘why?’ and learn to question the nuances of your own personality and your own personal belief systems. Use these points that I mentioned in this article as a guide to try and create a happier and more rewarding life for yourself. We are all different, it is up to you to decide in which direction you want to go. You can overcome any negativity, if you want to, when you want to, for your own reason. It’s an easy process, far easier and far more rewarding then reading about it:

• Find a quiet place.
• Contemplate any negative thought or emotion. Induced these negative thoughts or emotions if you have to buy contemplating an area in your life where you are having difficulty.
• Identify and clarify these negative thoughts or feelings. Get as specific as possible, identify exactly what the negative thought is.
• Ask yourself “why?”. Ask yourself why you think what you are thinking. Discover the underlying belief behind these negative thoughts.
• If you wish to change a belief; tell yourself that this is just the belief, that you can change it.
• Once you identify the negative belief, find a replacement belief that you feel will be far more constructive for you.
• Every time that you experience negative thoughts and feelings along these lines, tell yourself that you no longer believe____________, that you now believe_______________.

P.S. There are times when this negativity can come from the exterior world. That is there are times when the negativity is not coming from us but it’s actually coming from those around us. If you are interested in more ways to change your belief and how to discover what are external negative influences, then I suggest you check out the following article: How to stop negative energy permanently

Stop imagining disasters.  Our imagination is an incredibly powerful thing and if it is left alone to ramble about it can sometimes create terrible scenarios that can cause us great stress.  It is very easy to take a very minor incident and turn it into a horrible thing.

It is easy to imagine for example that someone’s tardiness is actually a car accident or some other terrible thing.  We all worry excessively sometimes about minor things just because we let our imaginations get the best of us.

It can be very straining and consuming to always imagine the worst case scenario.  We then live our lives in a constant state of stress, and this stress affects us and all those around us.  This terrible imagining can over time take over our lives, and if it’s given free rein, will eventually begin to shape our reality.  This stress can manifest itself through personal illness and self depression.  It can also stress out those that hear your negative ramblings and can cause them to distance themselves from us.

You can stop this train of negative imagining:

• First always try and put your thoughts in perspective.  Try to use logic and to see logically that most of your imagined disasters are only a figment of your mind.  This is a powerful way to get perspective and to see that most of the things that go through your head are just phantoms of the imagination.
• Secondly try to control your imagination.  Try to imagine a more positive and less terrifying explanation for whatever is going on.  Instead of thinking that a plane crashed or that someone got mugged, try to imagine that they are fine and that perhaps they ran into a friend.  Turn your imagination around by catching yourself in the middle of a negative stream and consciously stop it.  If you can manage it, try to imagine a better scenario. If you find imagining something good is impossible, then just stop thinking about the situation at all, occupy yourself with something that will keep your mind busy like television or a game.
• Always look at the evidence.  Objectively see all of the evidence before you and try to realize that you usually are inventing things that aren’t real.  You take one thing that you know to be true and you add on to it, with your imagination, until you have something that could never be a real.  Identify the things that you know for sure and realize that everything else is just your imagination working overtime.
• Try to focus on a solution.  Many times our imagination creates the most horrible worst case scenario but we don’t use this powerful imagination to try and come up with solutions.  The next time that you find yourself imagining some disaster, use your mind instead to find a solution to what you think is a problem.  Use your powerful mind to discover your resources at the moment and to see how these resources can be used to solve your stress and dilemma.  There are many situations where you think you do not have any control but if you spend as much time trying to figure out a solution instead of trying to see the worst, you will discover that you have many more options than you thought he did.

You cannot let your imagination rule you because you are not your imagination.  Your imagination is a tool that you must learn to use for your benefit instead and your distress.  Like any tool, your imagination, can be used in the wrong way or at the wrong time.  It is up to you to know when to let your imagination have free rein and when to direct it in a specific direction.  Focus on the present moment and use the techniques mentioned above to stop imagining disasters and worst case scenarios.

Personal freedom is something that I believe we can all say we want. Yet it is something that is often misunderstood both in its relation to our personal lives and on how to go about getting it. On this May Day celebration, May 1, 2012; many protest demanding equal rights and more accountability from those that would oppress the greater individual majority.

While most of these protests, that are now occurring around the world, focus on the inequality of wealth distribution, there is the underlying tone of oppression. This inequality could not be possible of course if the people were free to choose their own system of just governance. Essentially there is a belief that those at the top are not listening or trying to help those that they are supposed to govern. That the governments are not doing what they should to stop corporate corruption, that elite superiority and the acquisition of greater wealth by these elite has become far more important than true representation. These protests represent a fight for freedom from this oppression. These protests represent a desire for freedom by those that believe that they are being oppressed by a group of individuals that is becoming more and more powerful every day.

The fight for freedom is a very scary one. The really scary part about it is not the actual fight itself, it is usually the realization of what freedom truly represents. Freedom is the ability to have an increased amount of possibility. Freedom is scary because it means that there are no rules, that you need to create those rules and those boundaries for yourself, that no one will tell you what to do because you will now choose for yourself. Freedom is a lonely road because while free, you are headed in a direction that is new and uncharted.

You are free right now, if you choose to be. All you need to do is decide to walk the road of freedom and exit stage right. Freedom by its very definition is the ability to just walk away in your own direction, making your way along a road less traveled, or perhaps never traveled before. What can be more scary than this?

We are all free to choose to walk this path to freedom. There is no need to fight or to impose our will on another. Freedom is first and foremost a belief that you must create within yourself; an ideology that you must first contemplate and understand, and then a belief that you must choose. Freedom is not something that can ever be taken away from you, if you believe that you are free.

No one can be oppressed the chooses to walk away from this oppression. To walk away from this oppression first begins by understanding that freedom is something that you CAN have right now. Freedom first begins deep within the inner self by understanding that it’s an inalienable right of each and every soul. That this freedom can never be taken away no matter what you might believe at the moment or what others might want to make you believe.

Freedom is choice. It begins by understanding that oppression is only possible if you believe that others can oppress you. By choosing to believe that you cannot be oppressed, that you are free at this moment, you can begin to see the possibilities that are open to you right now. By seeing these new possibilities, you can move in that direction. You can take action that will lead you away from what will eventually seem like a nightmare, a nightmare that showed you clearly what you did not want and gave you impetus to change the very nature of your life and experience. If you have the courage to choose this freedom then there will be no power that can ever hold you down.

We all want to be more successful. To most of us success means being able to accomplish those things that we wish to accomplish. The nuances of the definition of success can have small shades of variation from person to person. It is a good idea to define success for yourself in order to discover in greater detail what it is that you wish to be successful at. I think that we can all agree though on the fact that we would all like to be more successful in our personal endeavors.

All success is really a matter of preparation. In order to find success in the things that you do, you need to prepare for whatever action that you will take. All action requires preparation or else this action is just blind effort that usually has very little chance of success. Preparation is a mental endeavor where you focus on what it is that you want to do and then decide on the best way to go about doing it. By focusing your mind on what you need to accomplish, you begin to understand what it is that you will need to do to get there. In this way you begin to strategize and you begin to prepare mentally before you take any action.

Some get totally stressed out just thinking about the fact that they need to do all this preparation. You must realize though that the stress from not planning is usually far greater than the stress that you get from trying to plan anything. Preparation and planning should not be a stress at all. In order to prepare, strategize, and plan, all that you need to do is to just relax. As I said all preparation is a mental action. In order to perform this mental task, you need to relax and lightly focus on what it is that you want to do.

Your mind will naturally begin to give you thoughts and ideas on how you can get this task accomplished. You see by just focusing on what it is that you want, your mind naturally provides ideas and strategies on how to get this accomplished. The hardest thing that you might have to do is write these ideas and this strategy down. In other words by just focusing on your task, your mind will naturally chunk actions down into doable parts and give you alternative strategies on how to get these doable chunks accomplish.

The most important thing that you can have is focus. Success ultimately depends on focus because it is this personal focus that will allow your mind to prepare, and through this preparation you will find success. Focus on your intended task therefore, but also give yourself the time to contemplate this task in a comfortable manner. By relaxing and contemplating this particular goal as you focus on it, you will allow your mind to do what it does naturally. Focus and contemplation create better preparation, this preparation gives you better action, and better action guarantees success.

Through preparation you will discover that some goals or tasks are more important than others. You need to rank which of these is most important and you must tackle them in the correct order. You must constantly evaluate which task is truly important so that you can separate your efforts and not waste your time doing things that are of no great value.

There are some things that might seem incredibly urgent but are not necessarily important. Because of this you need to stay objective and to try and see the overall picture in a more detached manner. By doing so you will discover that some things that seem incredibly urgent are just things that you have become emotional about for one reason or another. These reasons usually have to do with external pressures; the solution is that you have to spend more time discovering what you truly value. Stay strong and stay focused on what you wish to accomplish, not what the rest of the world thinks you should be doing, in order to benefit it.

Success is something that we all desire. True success can only be accomplished through preparation. Preparation is something that requires focus; direct attention on that which you want to get done. Preparation is really an easy thing because your mind naturally provides all of the answers that you require. The trick is to just focus on the goal that you wish to accomplish and be open to your thought process; with enough attention, you will be able to sit back and watch as your mind naturally comes with strategies and angles that will prepare you for any possibility. Learn to be prepared so that your actions are precise and deliberate; in this way you will find success in all your endeavors.

Time is a precious thing. We seldom contemplate the fact enough; that we are all mortal beings. If we were to contemplate this on a regular basis, we would realize that the time that we have is indeed precious. Whether we believe in an afterlife or not, the time that we have on this Earth is indeed limited and it is therefore very important that we use this time wisely.

If you think about it, you’ll easily come to the conclusion that how you spend your time is how you spend your life. Now this might seem quite obvious but if you really think about it, there are a lot of actions that you perform that are most likely taking up your time but are not giving you much in return. Even people that tend to appreciate how precious their time is can sometimes be fooled into wasting time because they forget to consider that every single moment is precious and must be spent doing something that you want to do.

Some say that there is no free will but they forget to consider the fact that at every single moment you have a choice as to how you will spend your time. This choice is personal power and you must take advantage of this choice by deciding from this moment on what you will spend your time doing. Realize that every single moment gives you a choice. Make yourself conscious of this choice so that you can spend these moments wisely. Every single moment is a precious thing.

Some would say that they don’t have free will because they believe that their time is used up doing things that they believe they must do. That it is the external world that controls their behavior because it forces them to do things and gives them little choice. I can understand how some might feel this way, having to take bad jobs and having to be responsible for things that they do not care very much about. The solution to this problem is that you have to get to know your values; by understanding what you value and what things are important to you personally, you begin to figure out if you are spending your time doing things that are of value to you. Remember that at every moment you have a choice and you can change the course of your life right now if you choose to do those things that are important to you. If you find that your life is spent doing things that you don’t value, then start making a conscious choice right now to start working towards a life that you want. Set goals that fulfill your values.

By discovering your values you discover what you really want to do. By finding out what is important to you, you can begin to question how you are spending your time. If your efforts are helping you to achieve your goals, then you are spending your time wisely. If you are not using your time on things that are important to you then you either need to change your goals or the way that you spend your time.

Personal consideration of time does not need to be a draconian thing. The best way to begin to use your time wisely is to first and foremost discover your values. Once you have discovered these values you need to question your beliefs about these values;

do you feel that these values are worthy? Why or why not? If you feel that your values are unworthy then you need to discover the belief(s) that would have you imagine that your thoughts and ideals are evil, stupid, or less important than the values of others.

Is there a way that you can fulfill your values?
If one of your greatest values is personal freedom, then how can you start to become (and feel) more free right now?

By answering these questions you will discover the beliefs that are really not helping you or beliefs that are tell you that some things are not possible. By changing these beliefs you begin to naturally alter the way that you spend your time so that you are focusing more on getting the things that you truly want done and less on doing things that you think you should do or things that you believe you are being forced to do. If you are wondering about how to change these beliefs, there are a few articles on this page that you can use to help you, I recommend that you start with “How to stop negative energy permenantly”

Time is a precious thing. It cannot be wasted because whatever you do you are always expanding and becoming more yourself. There is a natural need in all of us though to expand in our own willful ways. In order to begin to use this time in a more conscious fashion, learn to appreciate how precious this time is and also use this precious time to discover what is of true value to you personally. Use your time wisely and you will find greater joy and success in life.