Self-Improvement and Interesting Knowledge

More and more people seem to be stressed out. The fast pace of our modern lives guarantees a more stressful existence. Here is a list of the top 8 ways to reduce stress. Use it as a quick list to help you cope and to help you find new ways to beat what has become a chronic illness for some.

Here are the top 8 ways to beat stress:

1. Manage time: make sure that you take stock of the amount of time that you have each day and that you try and prioritize objectives. A little day planner is a great way to plan tasks so that you stay on schedule and you don’t feel that you are getting overwhelmed by the world around you. I suggest that you don’t get too serious with your task planning; just a rough idea of what you have to do on the day so that you know you have enough time for everything. Too much planning and scheduling will make you feel trapped and this will increase your stress. Remember also to allocate time to having fun and for restful breaks.

2. Communicate better: This does not seem like a stress reliever but it is very important to make an effort to communicate better. Much of our stress comes from interpersonal relations, if you can communicate with friends, coworkers and family better, you will find that your stress level will go down quite a bit. Try reading.

3. Gain inner balance: This means that you should take the time to get to know who you really are. You have to learn to set your personal standards. You must learn how to say “no” gracefully and to have the courage to follow your own path. You gain inner balance by discovering who you are and in order to do that, you need to be able to have the time to be by yourself. In your little day planner, make sure that you schedule lots of alone time.

4. Learn to relax: Learning to relax is the key to beating stress. Stress is really the buildup of tension. I recommend you read ‘How to relax’.

5. Make time to relax: It is so very important that you always make time for yourself. If you don’t do this, you will soon stress out completely and you will get sick. Many relax by doing something that allows them to completely forget themselves. Hobbies, television or video games can be incredibly soothing as long as they are not pursued to excess.

6. Take time off: One of the great benefits of managing time is being able to see that you do have some time left over to take a vacation or a break. You should make sure that you always make time to take small breaks when you are working, and you should also plan to take longer breaks and vacations on a regular basis. You don’t have to take a trip somewhere, just take some time from your regular work to break routine and spend as many days as you can just having fun and doing what you like to do.

7. Develop an interest: A hobby is a great way to relax and beat stress. It allows you to focus on other things and if it means that you have to go out and socialize then all the better. Just remember to do something that you want to do and not something that you think that you need to do. Start a walking club; a fun relaxing walk will do anyone wonders.

8. Improve your diet: We are what we eat, so treat yourself well. Stay away from too much refined sugar. Reduce the coffee intake, as this will greatly help with relaxation and anxious feelings. Make sure you get your vitamins and minerals. A good way to do this is to try and get creative and find fun and novel dishes that you can try. Look through health cookbooks in the store and see if you can find a dish that looks good, then try and cook it. Do this often and you might find that eating healthy is not so hard.

Stress can be overcome. Beating stress means relaxing and having more fun.Think of the battle against stress as an opportunity to do all those things that everyone else is telling you not to do.

Having other people like us can be very important. You can see how this is a very positive survival trait because the more that others like us, the more that they are willing to help us and give us what we need. Developing ways to become a well-liked individual can greatly increase your success rate both in business and in everyday life, it is therefore of great importance that you develop ways to increase your likability factor.

Becoming more liked by others can be accomplished in a number of ways but the simplest and most natural method is:

How someone feels about you is how you make them feel about themselves; this is the one key factor that you must realize whenever you are trying to be a more likable person. The above statement means that others will like you to the extent that you are able to make them feel good about themselves. If you are able to make another person feel good, especially about their self-image, the more that they will find you to be likable and positive in nature.

Most often when we are trying to get others to like us, we tend to believe that we must somehow make ourselves seem better. The reasonable approach seems to be that you must showcase yourself as being an amazing individual that deserves to be worshiped and liked by all. But this reasoning is faulty and it is most likely the case that you are confusing being likable to being attractive.

Being attractive, as in sexually attractive to the opposite sex, tends to involve many aspects of scarcity and alpha dominance. Being likable though has much more to do with your ability to make others feel good about themselves and the situation that they might be in at the time.

You can become more likable by applying the four points below:

Talk about him or her and tell her how great she is; the easiest way to get someone else to like you is to tell them often that they are great person. The more that you take the other person’s self into consideration, the more that that person will find you to be incredibly appealing and nice. Make sure that you mention the person’s name often when you talk to them as most people love to hear the sound of their own name. Make the other person feel special by telling them how special they are on a regular basis.

Make the other person feel special both directly and indirectly; if you are continually telling the other person that they are great, they will tend to get bored with you and think that you are just trying to suck up to them. Make sure that your compliments have an indirect and direct quality, that you do not overstate your compliments in an overt manner. You’ll find it amazing as to how much you can pump another person’s ego without them ever getting turned off but generally speaking it is a good idea to always take a both direct and indirect approach to your compliments of the other person. The best way to do this is to take a genuine interest in the other person and to complement him or her on those things that you truly do find interesting, exceptional or different in some way. Through genuine interest, you are able to see a broader range of the persons capabilities which will allow you to complement that person not on just him or herself directly but on the consequences that the person has on the world around them.

Be positive; if you ever begin to talk to someone and you act in a fairly negative way, you will never be able to get that other person to like you. Most people want to feel good and they cannot feel good if you’re constantly being negative and pointing out all the bad things. Having another person like you means making the other person feel good. In order to make that other person feel good you need to be able to be positive so that you can create a positive atmosphere and exude a positive energy that the other person will enjoy.

Turn whatever environment or event you find yourself in into a beautiful thing; while the ability to be positive in general has the capacity to create likability from others because they feel that glowing good energy coming from you, the ability to change any event into a positive one can have a dramatic effect on how much people like you. If for example you take any event that you find yourself in with another person and you turn that event into an incredibly positive and fun experience, you will become highly liked and a much sought after person. The world can sometimes be quite a gloomy and boring place, if you are able to create magic in any moment, then there will be many people that will be lined up to try and be around you and become your friend.

Likability is different from attraction. Being more likable has many great benefits; by being a more likable person you will be able to get others to give you what you desire and it will make you feel good because you will be surrounded by people that are genuinely interested in being in your company. You can become more likable the minute that you realize that likability has to do with how you are able to make others feel about themselves and the world around them. The more that you are able to make another person feel good about him or herself, the more that you are going to be liked and appreciated by others.

 

 

 

 

 

I think that most of us would agree that we would like to be happier. Being happy is a type of pleasure and as pleasure seeking beings, happiness satisfies our instinctual desires.  Any problem that arises from seeking happiness, tends to present itself because of a person’s insistence on being happy all the time.  While being happy all the time might sound good, it is the case that every individual needs to experience a wide range of emotion because each emotion has a purpose.  If you force happiness, trying to make yourself see good things in everything or make yourself smile when you don’t feel like smiling, you can create a repressive state where a buildup of negative (in this case, emotions that are not happy) emotions is present.

You can though quite naturally extend the amount of happiness that you feel.  This is done by extending those happy moments that you feel naturally.  You do this by focusing on those good emotions when you do have them; by being more aware of your emotional state and consciously extending the length of time of the positive emotions that you feel.

See if you can go through a large part of your day being totally aware of your emotional states.  This will require a certain amount of concentration on your part in that you will need to stay focused on yourself but at the same time be able to let yourself experience the world about you naturally.  This type of awareness does take some practice; the best way to go about it is to create a type of third person perspective where you are able to imaginatively look down on yourself and watch yourself experience things naturally.  Once you can develop this third person perspective, you can easily keep an eye, as it were, on your emotional state.

This is an incredibly powerful exercise and will teach you a great deal about yourself.  You will notice that you have a very wide emotional variance throughout your day and that your emotional states are affected by both internal and external stimulus.  Sometimes you will feel certain emotions because of something that you witness or are part of physically, and you will also notice that your emotional states are also greatly controlled by your subjective experience; what you think about throughout the day.

Once you become aware of your emotional states, become particularity aware of when you are feeling happy.  Paying close attention to when you are feeling happy, you will be able to discover what it is that is causing this happiness.  This happiness will teach you about you, it will allow you to discover what you consider to be good and pleasurable to you personally.  This personal discovery is priceless because it will tell you what you need to do more of in order to be happier.  For example, you might really enjoy looking at wild birds and as such it makes all the sense in the world for you should pursue any hobby or occupation that allows you to look at wild birds more often.  You might also discover that you are quite happy whenever you are thinking about a certain person or place.  It is even possible that you find yourself the to be far happier when you are looking at the world through a certain perspective. 
Through greater personal awareness, by being able to see your emotional states from a third person perspective, you will discover those things that cause you greater happiness.  You then expand your happiness by doing or thinking more of those things that bring you joy and satisfaction.  In this way, joy and happiness can quite easily be extended and your life can become far more rewarding.

You do not need to fake happiness.  It is actually the case that if you try to fake happiness, you will actually end up getting it’s opposite.  Happiness can only be developed through a natural amplification of those things that cause you happiness.  Happiness then essentially becomes what it truly is; an emotion that is meant to empower you and guide you towards greater personal fulfillment.

Using this same method, you can see that negative emotions(in this case emotions that you do not consider happy) are also empowering energetic impulses that can teach you about your personal reality.  Using the third person perspective, you can discover what is causing the negative emotion.  With this discovery you can make sure that you do not engage in activity or thoughts that extend this negativity.  Looked at in this way, negative emotions become what they truly are; a catalyst for personal understanding and change. All emotions are there to help you discover your personal beliefs.

To ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ might be a good way to get out of a slump in the short term but it can create many problems in the long term.  Forcing yourself to do anything that you are not feeling, is essentially trying to coerce your own nature.  Instead of trying to fit yourself into a mold of what others believe you should be, I suggest that next time you choose instead to experience your own nature naturally.  Become more aware and discover for yourself what it is that makes you happy, extend that happiness naturally by doing more of those things that bring you joy and less of those things that create negativity with an you.  You can be happier by just learning to extend those happy moments, without denying or suppressing your natural emotional reality.

 

 

 

 

It is a very popular belief right now that; beliefs are thoughts that you have often. I know a number of supposed mental experts and self-help gurus that are trying to explain belief systems in this way. They’re basically saying that a belief is essentially anything that you think about all the time. This unfortunately is not a correct definition of ‘belief systems’ and it is a definition that can get you into some trouble.

I do not write this article trying to argue or to belittle the theories of others, but I do write it because I am very concerned about those people that are trying to make a positive change in their lives but are given information that can actually cause them more trouble than help. If you are one of those people or you are someone that is now trying to use positive mental power to change your reality, I want to explain to you what belief systems are in a more clear fashion. But perhaps it is far more important that I first tell you that thinking that beliefs are merely thoughts that you have often is incorrect and detrimental to any mental work that you might attempt.

Let me give you an example so that you have a clear idea of what I’m trying to say; let’s say that you have an underlying belief that human nature is essentially evil. Now this belief might not be as odd as you might think, for example there is the belief in Christianity of original sin which can presuppose that the natural human inclination is evil. Also those that believe in human evolution can believe that humanity is essentially evil in nature because evolutionists and scientists would presuppose that we have evolved from apes and by studying our closest relatives we know that many of their actions would seem quite evil from our civilized perspective. There is also a hierarchy here that is established by the evolutionists where many actions are considered primitive while others are considered more evolved and as such most human action is then seen as essentially evil or primitive.

So we have a person that has the belief that human nature is essentially evil. This kind of belief would have a person believe that most interactions with others can be quite dangerous. This person would try to protect him or herself from what he perceives, through his beliefs, to be a world full of people that are out to get him in one way or another. This person would probably have many thoughts where he would see others being confrontational with him, he would see terrible driving when he is on the road, he would have thoughts of protecting his family and his possessions from the evil of others. He would have many thoughts that would involve aggression and protection. But none of these thoughts would essentially tell him very much about the underlying belief that causes him to have these thoughts.

If this person were to try to attempt some of the current ideas on mental expansion, he would believe that he would need to turn every single one of these negative thoughts into a positive one. Whenever he felt what he perceived to be aggression from others, he would try to change that feeling into a feeling of someone being good to him for example. He would try to send those that drive terribly, love from his heart, and he might try to wear a happy face when really he is quite scared and perhaps angry. He would try to be politically correct and tell himself that he’s a bad person because he thinks these thoughts. After unsuccessfully trying to control all these negative thoughts, this person might even end up creating a type of psychosis where he believes that he is being pummeled by thoughts from outside of his own mind, that perhaps these thoughts are coming from somewhere else and he is being attacked by an evil force.

By believing that his beliefs are just thoughts that he has often, he will then try to change these individual thoughts one at a time without much success. It will feel very much like someone trying to stop a gushing pipe with just his hands. He covers one hole but then water starts coming out from another area, he covers that area but then another leak sprouts out; he is never able to stop the flow of water/negative thoughts. And these negative thoughts will never stop because he is not addressing the one thing that he needs to address which is his belief.

As you can imagine from the above example, this particular person would end up actually hurting himself using these methods instead of helping himself. It is perhaps the case that the gurus that expound the idea that a belief is just thoughts that you think about often, are just not explaining themselves properly. I will not accuse anyone of anything but I believe it is my moral imperative to clarify the definition of belief systems so that people do not end up hurting themselves trying to accomplish something that is essentially impossible.

It is essentially impossible for you to stop these thoughts because you are not changing the belief that is causing these thoughts. If you continue trying to stop every single negative thought, you will create a mental state where you are constantly tense and paranoid of your own mind. This can only last so long before your energy runs out and you either end up feeling like a loser or like you are being attacked by unseen forces from outside your own mind.

If this person that believes that human nature is essentially evil, would instead begin to question his own personal beliefs, he would find it far easier to stop all those negative thoughts that he is now having. In order to do this all you need to do is to ask yourself ‘why’ you are having the thoughts or emotions that you are now currently having. Just about every single thought and emotion that you have is caused by a certain belief. If you ask yourself ‘why’ you are having these thoughts or emotions, you will discover the belief that is causing them.
For example; let’s say that our friend sees a man walking towards him down the street and as he sees this man he becomes very uptight and has the desire to run away or to fight this individual. Perhaps our friend has thoughts of this man pulling out a gun or a knife, perhaps he has thoughts about the person’s race or perhaps he even has a thought about installing some kind of security system in his house. When our friend is having this thought, if he has the time at the moment, he should ask himself ‘why’ he is having this thought or emotion. He might get a rather obvious answer like, well this man is threatening and he is not from my race. If our friend asks himself again why he believes that this man is threatening and why he believes that another race is threatening, he will then discover something else about what he believes. In this way our friend can continue questioning himself until he finds an underlying belief that might be able to account for all of those certain beliefs that he had up to the final thought; I should run away or punch this guy face.

Belief systems can be quite complex but they are not a hidden menace that you cannot discover on your own. All you have to do is take the time to question yourself and ask yourself ‘why’ you are having the thoughts or emotions that you are now experiencing. Continue to question your beliefs until you identify the underlying belief that is causing all your negative thoughts and emotions. In this way you will be able to stop all the negative thoughts and emotions that you are now having and you will not feel like you are trying to stop a giant wall of water with a sieve.

A belief system then is the type of structure that you create, and on this structure you create your reality through your thoughts; especially emotionally charged thoughts. Your beliefs are not the thoughts that you have often, your beliefs are the underlying structures that cause you to have certain thoughts often. Anyone that tells you otherwise does not know very much about human consciousness or they are not explaining themselves properly and should make it a point to do so because this is an incredibly crucial point if you are wanting to create your own reality by controlling your thoughts.

I have written other articles where I show you how to change these beliefs.In this article you will realize, that changing a belief is not a difficult thing. Now I am not try to tell you what you should and should not believe, there might be a very good reason why you believe that human nature is evil, and it’s not up to me to tell you whether your beliefs are right or wrong. Nor do I think it’s up to anyone to tell you whether these beliefs are right or wrong. I think that you should discover your own beliefs and that you should question these beliefs and decide for yourself whether these are the type of beliefs that you wish to have. If you do not like them or you do not think that they are constructive for you right now, change them. The choice is yours, you are far more powerful than you think.

Whenever we have problems with other people, it is usually the case that we are not taking the time to look at things from the other person’s perspective. If you take the time to look at things from the other person’s perspective, you will see that they have the same desires needs and emotions as you do. In order to be successful in any relationship, whether this is a business or intimate relationship, you need to be able to take that person’s feelings into consideration or there will be conflict.

Imagine that you wake up in the morning and you find yourself in a completely alien environment. Perhaps you woke up in the middle of the woods somewhere and you are somehow expected to do something that is completely new to you. If you contemplate what you might be feeling at that moment, you will get a very good idea of what someone might be feeling when they’re being told what to do. Now it will probably not be as extreme as the scenario that I am creating but by trying to put yourself in that situation you can have a basic understanding of what it would be like to be commanded to do something that is completely outside of your element. You might also realize what it would be like to be thrust into something without your input in any way.

Explain your decisions, don’t just assume that a person should follow your commands or conclusion because it is clear in your head. Always make sure that you take the other person’s feelings and thoughts into consideration because that person does not have access to your thoughts and beliefs. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and from that perspective see how they might be interpreting your actions or decisions. If you are having trouble seeing things from the other person’s perspective, try to imagine yourself again in that alien environment, being told what to do without any explanation whatsoever. Would you not feel angry, frustrated, perhaps even a bit frightened. You might even feel like a child without any power who has to put up with something that they do not find logical or just.

When you are in a relationship with anyone, you have a certain amount of power and as such you have a certain amount of responsibility. If you are a boss or a leader in business, you have a responsibility to treat all those that you are in charge of fairly. One of your greatest responsibilities becomes making sure that the other person understands your decision and is not completely blindsided by what they might be expected to do or put up with. If you do not explain any decisions that you make, there will be conflict in whatever relationship that you have. A friendship or an intimate relationship of any kind will not last when you assume that you can decide on anything without having to explain yourself to the other person. Your leadership position in business will also be compromised if you do not explain your decisions to others.

Take the time to explain your reasoning and the emotions that you are feeling. It might seem like a difficult thing, to open up to others so freely, but it is essential that you take into consideration what others might be feeling at the time. No one likes to feel like they are unimportant. This is how you make another person feel when you make decisions without taking them into consideration.

You might think that as a leader you can get away with this kind of action but as a leader it is even more important that you consider the feelings of the other people around you. This is so because as a leader you are incredibly dependent on those people that below you. If they do not act properly then you will fail and this failure will ensure that your leadership position will soon be over.

Whenever you make a decision, make sure that you explain yourself to others. Understand that the only way that you can have a decent relationship with others is if you consider their perspective on a regular basis. If your decisions are to be taken seriously and obeyed then you will need the cooperation of others. You will not have this cooperation unless you are able to explain to them why you have come to the conclusions that you have. Explain yourself and tell them what you think you would like to know if you were in that person’s shoes. In this way your relationships will succeed and your decisions will be respected and acted upon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting things done can be a very a difficult or a very easy task. The difference between the two is time management. But time management requires more than just writing down something on a simple journal, it involves your ability to understand your personal routines and to use this to your advantage. Effective time management begins when you realize that time is precious and you should be a miser with it.

Being good at time management has many benefits. It should first and foremost allow you to reduce pressure and allow you to take a more relaxed approach to life. If you can schedule your time properly, you’ll have a clear definition of when you will be working on a certain task, how long this task will take, and therefore when you will have time away from this task to take breaks or do other activities. With this scheduled timeline, your mind is able to relax because it knows that it won’t be spending all its time doing this one thing. This is a very powerful way to get you to start working and to continue working until your scheduled time for this task is over.

By clearly defining when you are doing what, you logically understand that you have already defined your time in a manner that you find appropriate. If you are faced with many tasks all at once, without any kind of schedule, you will feel overwhelmed when you contemplate performing all these tasks in your mind. But once the schedule has been made, and you have given yourself a certain time to do each thing, you lose that sense of being overwhelmed because you now have a plan that seems logical and doable to you.

Perhaps the best thing about having a good schedule, is the fact that it clearly lets you know when you have leisure time to pursue interests that are more entertaining to you. By knowing when you work, you know when you don’t work. The mind requires this kind of scheduling because in this way it does not feel oppressed; a slave that is doomed to toil forever. Knowing that it will have a break soon, the mind will focus all of its ability in the moment without any reservation or laziness.

The most important part of good time management, is deciding what to do first. When you have many tasks to do, your mind runs wild pursuing each one and then changing its mind and pursuing another. By logically breaking down what you will do first, second, third, etc. you give your mind the structure that it needs to be able to begin. Before you begin you must know where to begin or else you will never get started it all.

A very important aspect of scheduling, and one that is seldom contemplated, is the ability to schedule certain tasks during the correct time. What this means is that when you schedule something, you should not just schedule things randomly but that you should consider your own personal feelings and abilities. I for example find it much easier to do heavy tasks early in the morning, I know others that need to do much of their heavy work late in the evening when the world is quiet. Think about the routines that you now have; when is it that you like to engage in heavy activity? When is it that you like to sit around and contemplate? When do you do your best creative thinking? Schedule your tasks with these thoughts in mind so that you go with the flow of your own energy instead of against it. This can make all the difference in the world when it comes to doing something easily or struggling to get something done.

Once you have found the task that you will be beginning with, and you have scheduled your time in accordance with your own energy levels and routines, you need to develop a strategy to be able to complete this first task easily. The best way to do this is to break down this first task, and any other task that you have scheduled, into smaller chunks.
So when you do schedule something, leave some space underneath your journal or whatever it is that you’re using to record your schedule, so that you can break down this task into even smaller subtasks. In this way any one task will not seem so difficult because you will be breaking it down even more, into very manageable chunks that will be far less intimidating and far easier to accomplish.

In order to have good time management, you need to be realistic. Many people love to create all sorts of scheduled lists about how they will be attempting one project or another. They stack on tons of things into one day and tell themselves that they will be getting this done without problem. Unfortunately for many this becomes a fantasy where once they see the length of the list that they have just created, they decide to perhaps engage in something else before they begin anything at all. The only way that you will get anything done is if you are realistic about the time that it will take for you to do something. You can’t just stack things one on top of the other without much thought or reason. If your mind does not believe that your schedule is possible, it will not even attempt to begin your day’s activities. Be realistic about what you can get done and how long this project will take. Make sure that you give yourself plenty of breaks so that you do not feel overwhelmed throughout the day. Take care of yourself and be honest or else you will not have the impetus to get going on anything.

Be a miser with your time because it is far more important than money. When you spend your money, and you are a wise spender, you are frugal and try to create a good budget which will satisfy all your needs. Your time is far more precious than money and you should be even more frugal in how you spend it because you only have a certain amount to use, and you are not getting anymore. Motivate yourself to create good time management so that you spend all of the time that you have on this Earth wisely. This does not mean that you should not goof off or have fun, what I’m trying to say is that you should schedule your tasks properly so that you do not waste endless time feeling sorry for yourself or being lazy.

Always make sure that you schedule time for fun things. The best reason to have good time management, to have a good scheduled itinerary, is to be able to have even more time to have fun yourself. Make sure that you schedule time to liven up old routines and tasks. If you go from one project to another without ever taking any time for yourself, you are essentially wasting time through poor scheduling; you are wasting fun time. Schedule properly so that you feel empowered and focused, but also schedule your time in a way that allows you to live more and have more fun in your life. Good time management allows you to have a better and more rewarding life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On many occasions I have gone on about the great power of empathy. I keep making a big deal about it and telling you that it is the most important skill that you can develop. Many believe what I am telling them but they tend to have a limited perspective of how you can use the power of empathy.

Your ability to have empathic understanding of the world around you is very powerful, it can allow you to perceive things in a far deeper level and as a result it can give you an edge on everything in your life. To prove my point, let’s have a little fun with empathy..

I am certain that if you have ever done any kind of grocery shopping, you have been stuck trying to pick the perfect fruits and vegetables. It can be said to be an art, the ability to find the perfectly ripe fruit or vegetable. Many look at the color of the tomato for example, perhaps tap a watermelon in just the right way, or smell a mango to see if it is perfect for consumption. But there are those fruits and vegetables that can be quite difficult to read. Avocados for example can be very difficult because unless you actually squeeze them, is really hard to tell whether they are perfectly ripe or just hard rocks on the inside. Cantaloupes or any fruit with a thick outer shell, can be quite difficult to gauge and sometimes it’s basic guesswork, trying to find that perfectly ripened piece of fruit.

How about if I were to tell you that you can use empathy to get a perfectly ripe fruit or vegetable every time. As I have told you in the past, empathy is the ability to take a part of yourself and to project this part onto another. To imaginatively project yourself into the other and as a result be able to perceive their perspective. But this is not the end of empathy, empathy can also be used to find the inner reality of certain things, or perhaps it would be better to say, feel the inner makeup of things around you. For example you could project a part of yourself into a tree, an animal, or even a brick. By examining your feelings and your subjective experience in general, you can discover the inner quality of these things that you are projecting into.

Using the above technique, you can project yourself into the fruits and vegetables that you are about to purchase and find out whether they are delicious and ripe. Next time that you find yourself in the produce section, or an outdoor market, try this technique; pick up whatever fruit or vegetable that you are looking to purchase, and as you hold it in your hand, imaginatively project a part of yourself into that fruit or vegetable. As you do so, explore your feelings and your inner reality. Very lightly, without breaking that empathic link that you have with that produce, try to imagine what this fruit or vegetable might taste like. Relax, let go of that tight hold that the ego sometimes has, and imaginatively become one with the produce that you are holding.

When I do the above technique, I usually get a feeling or an impression of how delicious and how healthy that produce is. This feeling is a very subjective one and it is therefore very difficult to explain in words but it is sort of like a feeling of goodness where somehow I know that the fruit or vegetable that I’m holding will taste great and is also good for me. You need to experiment yourself and see if you can discover your own understanding of the subjective information that you are getting. We are all different and we must all find our own subjective language and symbolism. But do not fret, it is not a difficult exercise and I do believe that we are all quite talented at it since it was one of the methods that our early ancestors used in order to discover whether the food around them was any good to eat. In other words it is an ancient skill that you are reusing in a modern setting.

You can still look at the color and the smell, these methods are still good and you should rely on them. But through this empathic method you should be able to develop a very good sense as to how good the food that you are about to get is. It is possible that you might make a mistake, for example you might pick up an avocado that is all black on the inside while you believed that it was perfect. Don’t give up and keep trying, because this talent like any talent requires practice and a bit of effort. The only thing I might suggest, is to stop squeezing that produce! It really sucks when you go into a store and you see people squeezing the heck out of this or that and then just walking away. Anyway, that’s just a little pet peeve of mine, hehe.

Empathy is not just for dealing with others, it can also allow you to perceive every aspect of the world around you in a far more precise and direct way. Practice your empathic skill and develop new ways to use it to your advantage. Empathy can be used to discover the inner reality and the inner makeup of anything that you see before you, even those things that are beyond your physical vision. For example it was through this kind of empathy that Einstein was able to discover many of his great laws and theories. You can use the same skill in very practical ways; next time that you are in the produce section, use your empathic sense to get the best quality food for you and your family.

 

 

 

Many often wonder what the greatest key to success is. The truth is that successful people in any field, people who get ahead in life, are constantly challenging themselves to trying new things. The one key factor of success is growth. If you want to be a more successful person, in whatever endeavor you wish to pursue, you have to be courageous enough to push yourself to grow as much as possible.

If we are not growing, then we are staying in the same place without change. Without change we cannot develop and increase our skill and ability. Without this increase in ability, there is no possible way of becoming better at anything. In other words, without growth there is no increase in ability and without this increase in ability you will always be stuck in mediocrity.

Growth comes when you take a chance and try something new. Growth comes when you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone and try something completely different, or perhaps do something that you have always done but in a completely different way. It is very rare to do anything perfectly the first time that you try, but it is because of all the mistakes, that you will develop new skills and abilities.

Never be afraid to try something different. Trying something new means that you’re willing to put yourself in a difficult position so that you can learn and experience new things. Try to see whatever mistakes you make as a learning experience, as an opportunity to become even more capable. When you try new things you will feel uncomfortable. If you can become comfortable being uncomfortable then the sky is the limit and your potential for growth is endless.

You will notice that the only people that really get ahead in life are the people that are constantly challenging themselves. They seem to know that true success only comes from moving forward and stretching themselves and their abilities. Truly successful people even seem to have the goal of trying to be a little uncomfortable on a regular basis. Great entrepreneurs for example will always push themselves to go beyond the competition and to offer more than anyone else has offered before. The great leaders of any field are always the ones that are willing to try new things, to push the boundaries of what is perceived to be possible.

When you are out on the edge, you are all alone. Being alone can be very scary especially when you realize that there’s no one there to catch you if you fail. But there is also great freedom on the edge because there’s no one there to tell you what to do. Push yourself to feel a little uncomfortable every day so that you too can push the boundaries of your possibilities and experience. See this discomfort as freedom and in this way you will be able to experience joy where others might only see tribulation.

The secret to great success then is discomfort, because it is discomfort that will push you to grow and to develop yourself. Discomfort is also the gauge which you must use to measure your potential for growth; if you are not comfortable then you know that you have pushed yourself into personally uncharted territory. Freedom and power can be found at this outer edge but there is loneliness there as well, and sometimes even a little fear. Dare to push yourself beyond your limits and experience the delight of feeling alive and free in the world. Those that can push themselves beyond their limits, will find success and joy in a life well lived. Those that cannot push themselves beyond their limits, will only find stagnation and complacency.

Emotions can be incredibly debilitating if we do not have a way of dealing with them. Emotions that we consider negative such as; anger, fear, sadness, can destroy our ability to act in a logical and coherent manner if we let these emotions go unchecked. Emotions can cloud our better judgment and can affect our ability to perform even simple tasks correctly.

I have mentioned in other articles that you should deal with these emotions by finding out the beliefs that are causing them. I believe that the best way to deal with any kind of negativity is through the study of personal belief systems. That by being able to discover what it is that you are believing about a certain sitiation, you can discover why you are feeling the way you are feeling at the moment. This is the only way to be able to stop negativity completely and I show you how to go about doing this in this article…

There are times though when we are out and about and cannot just stop in the middle of whatever we are doing to question our belief systems. Negativity can be stopped over time by discovering your beliefs, but what do you do in the meantime? What do you do when you’re being assaulted by emotions that are completely crippling your ability to act and think properly?

Well there are ways that you can deal with these emotions. There are ways to stop them so that you are able to continue in a productive manner. You can call it the fine art of ‘Vulcanism’; this is in reference to Vulcans who are a race of alien beings in Star Trek that can completely control their emotions.

1. The first method that I would like to discuss and present to you, which I have not talked about very much in the past, is the technique of the Here & Now. How this technique works is that you stop any emotion by completely focusing on the Here & Now. This is fundamentally a Zen Buddhism concept; it basically says that the mind is the cause of all negativity and emotional unrest, that the mind exists in the future and in the past but that it is completely absent in the present moment.

If you pay attention to your thought process, you will quite quickly realize that this thought process is usually lost in future scenarios or in past events. By focusing your mind on this present moment, you are able to stop that mental dialogue that never seems to rest. If you take a moment now to look about you, to see the things in the room before you, to hear the sounds that are now perceivable to you, you will be able to understand what is meant by focusing your mind on the present moment. By focusing more and more on this present reality that is all about you, you increase the power of the Here & Now.

Existing in this present moment takes a lot of personal focus and discipline. The mind, because it has been given so much free reign, will very quickly take off into the future or the past. It takes a lot of discipline on your part therefore to try and stay focused on this present moment and not to deviate. But you do not need to become an instant Zen master, all you need to do is to remember that if you ever find yourself in an emotionally crippling situation, what you need to do is to focus your mind as completely as possible on the Here & Now. If you can do this, then your mind will not be able to wander into a terrible past or a horrible future. By being completely focused on the present moment, you will forget about whatever might have happened in the past and will not worry about whatever might happen in the future. I this way your emotional state will be quelled,  and you will be able to attain a very powerful unemotional state.

2. Another method to be able to stop those negative and crippling emotions when they present themselves is to learn to relax. It is impossible to be able to feel anything, other than joy and comfort, if your body is completely relaxed. Any emotion, especially the negative ones, create a tension in the body as a person’s electromagnetic energy increases. Tension increases electromagnetic energy, tension also traps electromagnetic energy in the body like a kink in a hose, if there is no tension then there is no possibility of emotional escalation because it is this energy that is needed to feel emotion.

If you can completely relax your body then you will be able to control all emotion. Next time that you have some kind of emotional situation, try to pay attention to how your body feels. Try to notice where your body is tense and how strong that tension is. You will notice that any emotion, aside from joyous complacency, will cause a tension in your body that you will be able to feel.

You can will yourself to relax this tension if you are vigilant and can identify what part of your body becomes tense; use your will to relax this tension. If you are not able to maintain this level of focus and intention yet, a great way to relax this body tension is to focus on your exhalation. Next time that you feel a debilitating emotion, take a deep breath and hold that breath for a couple of seconds and then exhale in a quiet sigh. That exhalation should be done by completely relaxing the body and letting the exhalation happen by itself. As you inhale try to tense every single muscle of your body, hold that inhalation/tension for 2 to 5 seconds, and then completely relax your body. As your body relaxes completely, let that exhale come out on its own without any effort on your part all. If you do this correctly, you will feel a wonderful sense of relaxation as your blood pressure lowers. Your body will relax completely and any kink will be released, the energy accumulated in this tension will be released and all emotion will be washed away. Do this relaxing breath as often as you need to.

With these two methods you should be able to stop any emotion that you feel. In this way you can even control what kind of emotions you want to feel, but this is something that I don’t actually recommend since I do believe that negative emotions have a place and a reason. You can for example let yourself feel all the positive emotions in your life but completely cut out all the negative ones with the above two techniques.
This though would not be something that would be good for you in the long run. Negative emotions are usually signals that we are unhappy with a situation; the reason for this is always a belief that we have that relates to this situation. If you do not express these emotions, you will not be able to discover the reasons for these emotions. If you cannot discover the reasons for these emotions then you will not be able to grow spiritually and objectively. Negative emotions are a catalyst for change, they feel unpleasant because they are trying to tell us that that we need to change something now. Without the energy that they provide, we will not have the impetus or mental focus to be able to search out that problem and to change it.

Use the above to techniques when you need to control crippling emotions that are not allowing you to perform correctly at the moment, but don’t define these emotions as evil or unconstructive. Sometimes emotions are part of our intuition and they can help us to discover things that we are having trouble understanding logically. For example it could be that you might want to work with a certain person but that you feel something negative whenever you are close to that person. This could be your intuition telling you that this person should not be trusted. Its ok to not feel happy and loving all the time.
It is also the case sometimes that emotions cloud or judgments and we trust people that we shouldn’t because somehow they have been able to tug at our heartstrings. My advice to you is to first feel those emotions and then to turn them off to see if there’s any difference in your judgment from one perspective to the other. It will be then up to you to learn to recognize the difference between intuitive feeling and overzealous emotion. Trust in your being, trust in the power of your whole self.

With control comes power. Hopefully with the two techniques above you will be able to empower yourself to control your emotions when you have to and to be able to feel them and express them when you think you need to. To permanently stop any negativity that you feel, and to be able to understand your greater being, you will need to discover the belief systems that are causing all your emotions. Use the above to techniques wisely to control your emotions consciously.

 

 

 

 

 

There is nothing more powerful in sustaining a relationship then to acknowledge the other person’s feelings. A relationship does not necessarily mean a relationship between lovers; a relationship can happen any time that you are engaging in any kind of communication with someone else. Even a small conversation with a clerk at a grocery store is a relationship and this relationship can greatly benefit by having you acknowledge the other persons feelings and subjective state.

In an earlier article I discussed the importance of empathy. I told you there that empathy can actually be a very powerful way to become more flexible and dynamic yourself. If you have read this article, “Empathy, the most important skill of the 21st century“, and you would like to know the benefits of this ability in a more concrete fashion, then you might be interested in contemplating the points below. Through empathy you will be able to subjectively feel and understand the other persons reality. You will be able to feel their feelings and you will be able to understand some of their thought process. This can be a great advantage for you if there is something that you want from the other person.

It is the case that any relationship involves the desire or the need to get something from the other individual. You should not see this in any negative way, a politically correct establishment would have you believe that you should always do everything selflessly and that doing something because you want something is a type of the evil. But this is not how the world works. We are all here to help each other and every interaction, even the interaction with the environment around you, is an interaction of mutual cooperation. You cannot exist without the cooperation of everything and everyone around you, and they in turn cannot exist without your help.

Those that do not believe in this cooperative interrelation, believe themselves to be lone individuals apart from all others, struggling to survive in infinitely competitive environment. This is not the case, if it were the case then this world would be a hell that would be impossible to maintain. Our world is maintained, created and supported because of the constant cooperation between every single individual part of it. A relationship is based on mutual cooperation whether this mutual cooperation is perceived or not. When you interact with anyone, you want something from them and they want something from you. A politically correct world would tell you that this is mutual selfishness but this is actually group cooperation at its best. The failure is one of perception, where people are able to, for the most part, only see their own perspective and nothing else.

If you can realize that you are in a cooperative environment, that it is good and natural for you to want something because in this way you are helping yourself and the other person at the same time, then you will be able to participate in mutual cooperation in a more natural and less guilt driven way. By developing your empathy, you will be able to discover what you want and what the other person wants from any mutual interaction, and in this way easily come up with a solution that is of benefit to you both.

When you can truly empathize with the other person, make sure that you acknowledge the other person’s feelings. By doing so you will let the other person know that you understand where they are coming from. That you understand what they are feeling and wanting from this situation. You will let the other person know, by acknowledging their feelings, that you see him or her as a real person that deserves your respect. By acknowledging the other person’s feelings you create a sense of mutual respect which will make mutual cooperation easy and inevitable.

As you acknowledge the other person’s feelings, express your own feelings and desires as well. You can do this verbally or through body language, just make sure that the other person understands where you are coming from yourself. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings and express your own, and then go about finding a solution that is beneficial to both of you. There is no need to pretend to feel something that you do not in order to try and get your way. Through honest empathic engagement, you can begin to experience a relationship with others that will be far more beneficial to you both in every way.